Wormholes and Loopholes
by Gyte-san
Summary: Stargate SG1 crossover. Post Doomsday. 10Rose SamJack. The Doctor tries to finish his message to Rose, only to have the Tardis pulled into another adventure. Enjoy. Note: ...Finally remember to write something. So sleepy.
1. Author's Notes and Such

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Author's Notes and Disclaimers

Just skip this chapter. Really now, just skip it. You still reading? Okay, but I did warn you. It isn't too late to change your mind. There we go, just click the little arrow button to move on to the next chapter. Why are you still reading? Oh well. Enjoy.

Let's get the formalities out of the way shall we.

I don't own Doctor Who. If you thought so otherwise, you are a really sad person.

I don't own Stargate SG-1. If you thought so otherwise, you are an idiot. (Sorry, but it had to be said.)

If I owned either of these shows, don't you think I would have made this the actual storyline instead of writing a fanfic?

This takes place after Doomsday on Doctor Who and sometime probably in the 5th season of Stargate SG-1 (I am not going to be too picky about exactly where in the series that show is). The Doctor doesn't have a new companion and Daniel is still alive.

Pairings are as followed: The Doctor and Rose with some hints as to Jack and Sam.

If you happen to see something wrong with one of my stories (examples include but are not limited to: plot holes, misspelled names, misspelled words, grammar issues, incorrect references, homophones, and general suckiness), please do review and tell me about it. Hopefully it will be fixed soon.

Don't steal my plot.

You have been warned.

Chapters will come out when they will. If it seems like I have discontinued the story, there is a good chance that I am actually just being lazy. Be patient and send lots of reviews and a chapter might come out soonish.

-looks to backstage- Did I remember everything? Yep. You sure? Okay then.

-turns back to the audience- Now cue the bubbles. –floats away-


	2. Chapter 1

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter One: Did this thing come with an instruction manual? It did? Then why didn't we read it? Oh, that's why. How was I supposed to know it was in an untranslatable language?

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He had lost her.

He didn't even get a chance to tell her….

A single tear fell down his cheek as he realized this.

No, this is wrong. He is the smartest man in the universe. Change that, not the smartest man, the smartest Time Lord in the universe (not that he had any more competition in that field). He is the most feared being in the universe. So why couldn't he even hold on to the woman he….

Something isn't right. His projection wasn't meant to hold very long, but he was supposed to have at least a few more minutes. The calculations raced through his mind. This is wrong. The energy from that dying sun should have given him at least three more minutes. What could…. It doesn't matter; he will get those three minutes back somehow. He will finish that sentence or die trying. Hit this button, flip all of those switches to the right, not that one, that one… What the Hell does that switch do? Okay, break that switch off and throw it away. Hit that part of the consol with a mallet. Hit it again. Once more. Okay, I don't think that is supposed to be on fire.

He didn't know what he was doing now. Hell, half of the time he didn't know what he was doing. He was pretty much shooting from the hip when it came to the Tardis. Mainly he would push a few buttons and hope that she knew what he wanted to do. He got by well enough with just that. Some mistakes were made (like mistaking 12 hours for 12 months in the unfortunate incident that happened when he returned Rose back home), but it got at least close to what he was shooting for. It was rare that he lost total control of the Tardis. Sometimes it was her own decision to send him off course, but she usually had a very good reason for it, and he trusted her judgment. After all they had been through, why wasn't she responding to him now?

What is that noise? Why does it feel like the Tardis is moving? Well, there is a very simple explanation for that:

The Tardis was moving.

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Lunch at the SGC is always an interesting time. If anyone eavesdropped on the conversations, they would probably end up with several new ideas for bad sci-fi dramas. But, like all lunchrooms, a certain hierarchy was present. The tech crews, janitors, cooks, and everyone else dedicated to running the day to day life of the base filled the bottom ranks. Though they are necessary for the base to operate smoothly, they rarely get the chance to risk their lives for the good of all mankind. The majority of the SG teams filled the next rank, enjoying their slight superiority over the lower ranks. They in themselves had a smaller, but infinitely more complex, system among their own ranks. They took into account several factors including: Years of service, Time spent off world, Number of new races discovered by said team, Number of close calls, How many times they had come face to face with a Goa'uld and survived, and (perhaps the most important) how many bad guys knew their names. They would duke out their importance in the lunchroom, each comparing their stories and merits to the other SGC employees. Above most all SG personnel were visitors. Visitors usually ranged from visiting diplomats, politicians, and military personnel, but the occasional Tokra, Jaffa rebel, or Asgard would sometimes take the time to indulge in a traditional Earth lunch. But not even these high named guests could compare to the power that a certain group of people held among the others.

SG-1. Their names had become all but legend. Their exploits topped all others, and every system lord both knew and cursed their names. Whenever someone or something threatened the Earth (or any other planet for that matter), they always had some one-in-a-million plan that always seemed to work, no matter how improbable it seemed.

The handsome, intelligent linguist, Daniel Jackson. No matter what the culture, no matter what the language, he would find a way to communicate with the locals. All artifacts found on other worlds were shown to him, and he almost instinctively knew which Earth cultures influenced, or were influenced by, those who crafted the object. Ancient puzzles unraveled under his scrutiny.

Beautiful, brilliant Carter. How many off-worlders have tried to make her theirs? Ready with both a gun and a plan, she has escaped from situations that would make most other women give up hope. She could understand the science behind technology millennia ahead of Earth's own. When science failed her, her teammates could count on her to be there as a soldier. She rides motorcycles, knows astrophysics, is an excellent shot, and looks awesome in both oil stained jeans and ancient ceremonial dresses.

Teal'c. Strong, sturdy, calm and always ready for a fight. All questions concerning his loyalty have long since vanished from the halls of the SGC. Any who raised a hint of doubt in his integrity were beaten down by his massive number of supporters and fans. The silent and strong type, his lack of understanding Earth's culture brings comic relief to tense moments. He could break you in half as if you were nothing. Did we mention he is good with kids?

Jack O'Neill. Must we say more? We do? Really? The infamous O'Neill. Hated by Goa'uld, loved by the Asguard, and on very good terms with the president. No one is quite sure how he does it, but he manages to get out of trouble every time. He is also not hard on the eyes. Most of the female personnel and a good portion of the male personnel wouldn't mind having his child or at least a nice one night stand.

No one took the hierarchy too seriously, but most would differ to the wisdom of those higher up on the chain. It was also a very high honor for any member of SG-1 to know your name. Those allowed within their inner circle tended to live longer and see cooler stuff.

SG-1 never really thought about their legendary status. Right now they were more interested in their blue Jell-O dessert.

"Carter, what flavor is blue Jell-O?"

"Not sure, sir."

"My guess is blue raspberry."

"Are not the raspberries of this world red, Daniel Jackson?"

While this conversation was truly riveting for those involved, most would consider their topic boring and mundane. When you have been to the end of the universe and back, one would imagine your topics of discussion would be a tad more stimulating. That was SG-1 for you.

"They are red."

"Unscheduled offworld activation."

"And so are the wonderful flashing lights."

The emergency lights could put O'Neill in a bad mood in no time flat. Whenever they went off something bad was going to happen. He reluctantly put down his bowl of Jell-O and rushed off along with his teammates to find out what the current tragedy the SGC is facing today.

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The Doctor went through all the controls. None of them showed any sign that he had accidentally set the Tardis off. Also, none of the controls and monitor screens could show him any sign of where he was going. They didn't even seem to be going through the time vortex at all.

The screen closest to him flashed, "Warning: Interdimensional travel occurring. No longer able to draw power from the time vortex. Systems shutting down."

For the Tardis to give such a bad sci-fi cliché warning like that, it had to be bad. Something was pulling them into a transdimensional wormhole. It must have drawn the energy from the dying sun to finish the connection. Who would be stupid enough to mess with the fabric of multiple realities? This couldn't be the work of the Time Lords; his Tardis wouldn't be dying if they had a hand in this. With no way to control the Tardis, all he could do was hang on and pray that he didn't die… again.

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	3. Chapter 2

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 2: You think this guy is friendly? You sure about that? Why is he yelling at us? What language is that? Finnish? Really? An alien from the other side of the galaxy speaks Finnish?

(Special thanks to Angel-Hunteress, Kesomon, scion, Izzfroger, Stoko, Skoellya, yeknodelttil, Aphy Snape, and mew katt who either reviewed, put me on their favorite list or put me on their alert list, an extra special thanks to Angel-Hunteress in particular who corrected my spelling of Jack O'Neill's name."

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This was bad. Real bad. No matter how much turbulence the Tardis got, he never before ended up on the ceiling, clinging for dear life. The first few seconds were the worst. He could not remember a time had ever been tossed around so bad. Bruises were already starting to form from the punishment he took. Several devices had been broken from him being thrown violently into them. Any and all attempts for him to try and ground himself to a fixed location were futile. For quite a while he could not even tell which way the Tardis was moving. Now it is painfully apparent that wherever they were headed, the Tardis was headed there top first, thus explaining why the good Doctor is stuck on the ceiling, praying that the worst was over. As bad as he felt for himself at the moment, he couldn't help but feel worse for his beloved ship. The damage done to her could take weeks or months to fix. This of course was based on the assumption that he would even be able to fix her wherever they were going. If they were being pulled into another dimension, the chances were she would die as soon as they reached the destination. Without the time vortex, the Tardis would die, he would be stuck on some god forsaken rock, and he would never get to finish telling Rose the truth about his feelings.

He was beginning to get really pissed off at whoever had pulled him into this vortex.

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"Unscheduled offworld activation."

The siren had been going off for about a minute now and O'Neill had the beginnings of a headache.

"Why can't we get a slightly quieter alarm? It goes off so often, you would think we could invest in something a little less screeching."

Everyone chose to ignore him. Most had learned not to pay attention to O'Neill when he got sarcastic. All the players had made it to the control room. General Hammond was the last to arrive.

"No id code yet, sir."

"Close the iris."

O'Neill began to count mentally how many times this had happened just within the last month. Maybe seven, eight perhaps. No, ten.

"Receiving incoming radio transmission."

"Patch it through."

No matter how many times the SGC faced these situations; General Hammond took each one seriously. Who knew which one would lead to some catastrophic event, putting the world once again in danger?

Unnoticed by all, a small spark arched across the side of the side of the Stargate.

"This is Captain Forey of SG-7. We are under heavy fire. Salez is down and White has been hit in the arm. We have Jaffa soldiers on our six. Too many to count."

"We have received the id code. Confirmed as SG-7."

"Open the iris."

General Hammond was used to these kinds of situations now. As long as his men could make it through the Stargate, they could always close the iris behind them. Problem solved.

"Forey, are you requesting backup? I can send more teams through."

"Negative. Just have more soldiers posted in the gate room in case one follows us through. And a medical team. Salez is in real bad shape."

As Hammond gave orders to soldiers and doctors, O'Neill began to relax. As far as catastrophes went, this one was easily dealt with. No Reetu, no blackholes, no replicators, and no hostage crisis. Nothing for him to do here. Soon he could go back to his lunch and the mysterious blue Jell-O.

Another spark traveled along the side of the Stargate. This time a few soldiers saw it from the corner of their eyes, but they didn't think anything of it. People are too quick to judge what they see as a trick of the light.

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The Tardis seemed to have level off, when it went into a series of flips that sent the Doctor flying back and forth between the ceiling and the floor. Times like this made him wish he had picked a different model of Tardis. He thought about his long dead friend, Iris. Her manually driven 

Tardis could handle these situations better than his own. Instead of punching coordinates on different consoles, she had to drive through the time vortex. Though it is harder to use for everyday travel (the time vortex was maddening to drive in), one had better control over their Tardis. Maybe he should install a backup manual drive to his own Tardis. There were a few redundant systems he could butcher for the parts.

There is a time and place for such musings, and now is not the time. Especially since the Tardis was now in a free fall.

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Soldiers moved aside to make room for the medical team. Jack couldn't help but notice that the good general had hired a few more nurses. Female nurses. Very cute female nurses. His mind was so focused on the new pleasant view, he missed what Hammond said.

Quickly snapping out of a particularly nice daydream, he faced Hammond. "What was that, sir?"

Hammond quickly glanced at where O'Neill's attention had been and knew exactly why he hadn't heard him the first time. "I said that you and your team could return to lunch."

He gave the general a quick salute, then turned back to the gateroom for a second more. They were really cute, but not as cute as some. Like one second in command… He quickly shut off that train of thought, mentally cursing himself for thinking like that again. Maybe he should ask for one of the nurses' phone numbers. Maybe it was time for him to try and move again from his obsession with a certain unattainable someone. He knew he wouldn't go through with it though. In a way it was almost funny. He had the best luck when it came to escaping the grasp of undefeatable enemies in impenetrable fortresses, and yet he had the bad luck to fall for the one woman he couldn't have.

With a mental sigh, he turned away from the eye candy. Off to go explore the mysteries of blue Jell-O. He quickly glanced at the Stargate, making a quick, silent wish that SG-7 would make it back alright.

Another spark traveled across the top of the Stargate. This time O'Neill was looking directly at it. One of the biggest rules in the SGC: if the Stargate acted funny, strange things would soon happen.

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She calmed down. They were still moving, but he was no longer being thrown around like a rag doll. If he had the physical ability too, he could now stand up without being tossed around. Unfortunately, sitting up was as much as he could physically manage right now. Taking quick inventory of damages, he counted fourteen things broken. He could fix them all fairly easy, except for that one, but he could always buy a new one if he ever got back home.

But enough about the Tardis, he now needed to check his own injuries. A couple of ribs broken, the rest were probably at least bruised. A hairline fracture in his right arm. Three bones in his left hand, left ankle, and right shoulder were all broken. Both wrists and his other ankle were sprained, and a concussion. Besides massive amounts of bruising, that seemed about it.

He coughed a little, using his hand to cover his mouth. That's strange, why is his hand wet? He looked down at his hand and the red stain that covered over half of it. Okay, coughing up blood is never a good sign. This means he had internal injuries. Hopefully none of this would warrant another regeneration. Regenerating so soon after receiving a new body would just be too embarrassing, even if there were no more Time Lords to rub it in his face. Besides, he liked his new body. She had liked it too.

Depression set in again as his memories traveled to New New York. Cassandra had said that Rose thought he was foxy. He liked being foxy, even if he wasn't ginger.

He had saved so many people that day, an entire race of new grown humans. He managed to save all those people, yet he couldn't save her.

Had he lost his touch?

He would think about it later, he needed to sleep. Just a short nap. Just for a second.

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"That doesn't look good."

Sam turned in the doorway and turned to face what her commander was talking about. This time almost everyone saw more electricity flash across the face of the even horizon.

When someone walked out of the gate, they came out at the same speed they went in. You would walk in one gate and exit out another one at the same pace with a small "plosh" stone hitting the water sound. The Stargate seemed in a bad mood today. Instead of running out of the Stargate, they were thrown out several feet. Three of member of SG-7 hit the ground in a rolling fashion to reduce injury, the fourth wasn't so lucky and hit the ground hard and continued to slide into one of the soldiers guarding the gate.

"Close the iris."

Hammond almost expected the iris to resist the command. The Stargate had had many problems with the Stargate that had caused the iris to become inoperable. He relaxed as the familiar click as the steel ring of the iris closed in to cover the Stargate. Shortly after the iris closed, the Stargate disengaged the wormhole. No more sparks appeared. Everything looked normal.

A quick once over and interrogation on their way to the infirmary confirmed that SG-7 was in fact SG-7, in the correct time, dimension and so forth. Also, Salez's injuries weren't as bad as previously thought. A Jaffa got in a lucky zat shot that caused her not only to knock her out, but 

also as she fell, she hit her head on a particularly sharp rock. Head wounds bleed badly, causing even minor cuts to look serious at times. She would be up tomorrow with a horrible headache. White's arm would take quite a bit longer to heal, but in a week, he would be fit for active duty. Now for the stranger matters at hand.

"Carter, can you explain what just happened?"

Always one for brilliant explanations for the bizarre, Carter already had three theories for the gate's new behavior. Running through the likeliness of all of them quickly, she chose the most likely to present to Hammond. "Well sir, I believe the gate just experienced a great burst of power, causing the forceful reentry of SG-7 and the electricity. It must have been trying to compensate for the extra energy." Lacking a better explanation most just nodded and accepted it. Jack grunted his approval of the theory. He wanted to finish his lunch, damn it. Stupid gate postponing his rendezvous with his friend chicken, mashed potatoes and freakin' blue Jell-O.

Hammond knew O'Neill well enough to know his grunt signaled his desperate desire to get the Hell out of there. "Colonel, I want you and your team to join SG-7 in the debriefing room in half an hour. Until then, enjoy you lunch." Jack quickly saluted and left the room practically skipping for joy. Many quietly chuckled under their breath at Jack's antics. With the team safe, one could relax again enjoy the simple comic relief the colonel provided. Some were disappointed that nothing stranger had happened. Adventures in the SGC gave them a rush unlike anything else. Saving the world had that affect on people, no matter how small a part they played in it.

With the strange sparkiness of the gate now pushed from their minds, everyone again missed a smaller flash travel across its top.

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	4. Chapter 3

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 3: We have established universal peace.

Now what? I'm bored.

(Thank you to Izzfrogger, Angel-Hunteress, eb2504, scion, Kesomon, Aphy Snape, Guillum, pokey and Reichenbach who reviewed or put me on an alert/ favorite list, etc. Also, thank you http:// www. crystalinks. com/ chinamythology .html and http:// www.godchecker .com/pantheon/ chinese-mythology. php?deity ZHU-RONG (remove spaces in the addressees to visit the sites) for the information I got off of them for Chu Jung. You should be so lucky to have an author do all this research for perhaps a very small part of this story. Ten points to anyone who knows which planet P3R-233 is. Btw, college started today for me, so chapters will probably come out at a dramatically slower pace. Please give me a little love today and review, school was really crappy.)

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"Rose Tyler, I…"

His image disappeared in front of Rose's eyes. For the next few minutes, her brain could not understand what had happened. He was about to confess, after all this time he would speak the words she had been longing to hear. All she could was stare into the ocean. Those who watched her could swear she did not even blink.

Slowly the reality of the situation seeped into her brain. Her Doctor had left and was never coming back.

She fell to her knees and screamed.

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"Two weeks ago, SG-1 traveled to PZ8-464. They discovered vast amounts of raw naquadah in the rocks in the surrounding forest. Unfortunately, the Goa'uld, Chu Jung, also discovered this planet sometime between their visit and ours. Lucky for us, they traveled to the planet by ships and had yet to find the Stargate and post a sentry by it. If they had, it is doubtful you would have seen us again. Barely minutes into our trek, we came across him and his army of Jaffa. After the usual 'Surrender or perish' type speech, we made a strategic retreat back to the Stargate. In other words, we ran like Hell."

As if this day couldn't get any worse. An uninhabited planet, teaming with resources is now in the hands of another Goa'uld, Major Salez had been seriously injured in a run-in with said Goa'uld, and Jack's Jell-O had melted before he got a chance to eat it.

"Jackson, what can you tell us about Captain Forey's new Goa'uld?"

And cue Daniel's geek mode.

"Well, Chu Jung, also known as Zhu-Rong and Chu-Jong was the Chinese god of fire. He also punished those who broke Heaven's laws. He presided over the southern quarter of Heaven and over universal order. Legend says he was so proud of his part in creating Heaven and Earth that he challenged Gong-Gong, the water demon attributed with the 'Great Flood,' to a fight. He won the duel, reclaiming his place in heaven, while Gong-Gong committed suicide."

Only half of the people in the debriefing room were actually paying attention to him. White zoned out within the first sentence, Cruze wondered if she had left her TV on in her house, and Jack doodled on a notepad that someone had placed in front of him, no doubt foolish enough to think he would take notes. (In his picture, giant fish were eating Daniels head while he made out with a pretty, unnamed blonde.) Forey paid attention only because he was 2IC and would be responsible for reporting all of this directly to Salez once she was conscious.

"Teal'c, what can you tell us?"

"Chu Jung was once a very powerful system lord, but he declared war against all the other system lords, claiming to be superior and their rightful ruler. The other system lords banded together, and he was swiftly beaten. He is rarely mentioned and is not considered a threat. He spends most of his time gathering resources to rebuild his power."

"I think we can take him." The sad thing is White wasn't joking. Lieutenant White had no internal dialogue. When he thought of something, he said it. His wife had long since learned never to ask him, "Does this make me look fat?" It is amazing that he managed to stay on SG-7. His tactless speech got his team in more trouble than they could afford. Still, as far as his bad ideas went, this took the cake.

"Earth could not afford such a maneuver." Teal'c has a great way with words.

"I agree with Teal'c. The SGC can barely contain the attacks on Earth now. Taking on a Goa'uld just for the resources of one planet now is suicide."

White looked crestfallen. Both Teal'c and Carter had shot down his idea. Luckily, they mostly brushed his idea off. It was pretty stupid, but than again, the SGC was a treasure trove full of stupid ideas, many of which worked.

With not much left to say, they agreed to mention their latest encounter to the Tok'ra next time they met. Also, Hammond canceled all missions to PZ8-464, for the obvious reason.

Debriefing finished, everyone split to go their separate ways. White left to go write a report. Cruze decided to go home for a few hours. Forey had to check in on Salez. Jack and Teal'c already had boxing planned. Carter still wasn't comfortable with the latest Stargate malfunction, so she thought it was the perfect time to run another gate diagnostic. As for Daniel, the SGC had an entire room next to his dedicated to artifacts found off world that he had yet to examine. He decided to start on one of the many objects found on P3R-233.

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The Tardis groaned as it once again accelerated to an unknown destination.

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Looking over the object, Daniel was baffled. He couldn't even figure out what it could be used for, much less who made it. It didn't resemble artifacts from any Earth culture he knew of. Of all the objects found on P3R-233, he liked this one the best… and hated it the worst. He just couldn't figure it out. That both frustrated him and intrigued him. It is an enigma that he couldn't solve. He took comfort in the fact that he didn't know everything, that there was still something out in the vast universe he had yet to discover. However, why couldn't he figure out how this damned box worked?

The object in question wasn't anything special, at least to the majority of those who saw it. A small, black box sat on Daniel's desk. Well, it was closer to a cube. Silver markings covered its black sides, but nothing else about it really made sense. When shaken, one could clearly hear rattling sounds from within, but no one could figure out how to open it. No hinges, buttons or cracks to signify how to open the bloody thing. In a fit of rage, Daniel had once thrown it against a wall as hard as he could. As you can tell by it still being closed, that didn't work either. On a whim, one day he asked Hammond to set up a reward for anybody able to open it. Almost everybody had tried to open it one time or another. Its reputation has grown to become legendary.

Base personnel now call the cube Murphy, after Murphy's Law. Murphy's Law states, "Anything that can go wrong, will." It works so well for the black cube. The list of damages incurred by SGC personnel while trying to open the box follows: six doors (ripped off the hinges), ten dozen light bulbs, six ancient vases, thirteen uniforms, three textbooks on astrophysics, fifty yards of copper wire, four tires (and the car attached to them), four more tires (these weren't attached to a car at the time), twenty ballpoint pens, a case of canned meat, ten skeins of yarn, two refrigerators, and a mechanical bull. Seven people had been seriously injured in the process of trying to open it (including two visiting Tok'ra and a senator touring the base). One time SG-9 tried to open it with leftover fireworks from the fourth of July that year. It took them a week to remove all the scorch marks on level 10. (Hammond refused to let anyone help them clean up their mess. Soon after that, he ordered that fireworks were not allowed on base without expressed written consent by five commanding officers.) And this is only what was reported. Most had just given up after receiving their first second-degree burn in attempting to open it.

Daniel sighed and set Murphy aside. As much as he would love to devote his attention to it, the artifacts weren't going to study themselves. He chose another object from a nearby table, a small statue depicting a snail eating an apple. Strange and confusing, but clearly ancient.

"Warning, Unknown Error! Warning, Unknown Error!"

Daniel nearly dropped the statue. He had never heard that warning before. He walked into the hallway, only to have a wave of soldiers run right past him. They were headed in the direction of the gateroom. Daniel followed them, mostly out of curiosity.

Rewind to five minutes earlier.

The gate continued to spark, unnoticed. Every so often someone would glance in the direction of the gate, but no one had yet to catch the electricity in action. With no reason to think the sparks would happen again, no one paid too much attention to it. Sam, however, had a different reason not to pay attention to it; she was too busy running a complicated diagnostic. She did not think that the gate would act up like that again, but better safe than sorry. She theorized that either one of the Jaffa had fired a staff or zat blast at the gate while SG-7 went through the gate. Perhaps the wormhole traveled too close to a supernova or maybe even a black hole. Either might cause the extra power, but she had no real way of being certain. Working with the Stargate wasn't an exact science. No matter how much they learned about it, more problems and oddities would arise.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, so she decided to pack up and head down to her private lab. Hammond and her teammates surprised her on her last birthday with a newly designed lab, for her use only. Hammond even gave a very touching speech about all her hard work for the SGC and her incredible scientific discoveries. That day would forever be ingrained in her memory, not because of Hammond's speech or the new lab, but due to O'Neill's lovely birthday present to her. She couldn't figure out how he had set it up without Hammond finding out and stopping him.

Right at the end of Hammond's speech a giant seven foot cake was rolled into the room by Daniel and Teal'c. Looking back at the memory, it is pretty clear that they were both in on the joke. The surprise wasn't the sheer size or the elaborate outer space themed icing designs on it but came from within the cake itself. With a shower of confetti, the top of the cake opened to reveal three SGC soldiers, wearing only commando print bikinis, dancing to the song "I'm too sexy." The look on Hammond's face… the look on her face. They did look good though. The only way it could have been better is if Jack had come out of the cake wearing…

Uh oh. Not supposed to think about that. Not supposed to think about that.

Jack walked in to see what he thought was Carter concentrating on the computer monitor. She looked so cute like that. Was she blushing?

"Hey Carter."

Sam quickly snapped herself out of the continuing loop of Jack and cake. Seeing him there only reminded herself of her previous thoughts and her blush deepened. "Yes, sir. Weren't you boxing with Teal'c?"

He noticed the blush but decided to let it go. "After being knocked down five times in a row, I decided to turn in for the day. Anything new? And please try to keep it in English this time."

"Nothing wrong at all. It is as if nothing had happened to the gate."

"Oh yeah? Than why is it still sparking?"

By now, Jack wasn't the only one to notice. Everyone turned their attention to the gate. A spark traveled from the very top of the gate, to the center where it vanished. Another spark from the left side to the center where it too vanished. More sparks from all around the circle followed suit. The sparks got bigger and more rapid. Sam snapped back into reality first and hit the emergency button. When the alarms went off, everyone else remembered their jobs and tried to figure out what was wrong with the gate.

Soldiers swarmed into the gate room, thinking this was another Goa'uld attack. The electricity concerned many of them, but it did not spread past the gate. Meanwhile in the control room, all the computer geeks went through all the data they could find.

"What is going on?" Hammond didn't sound happy, but then again, no one could really blame him. The emergency lights going off twice in the same day, never a good sign.

"We don't know, sir. None of this makes sense. It is claiming that the gate is dialing out."

"Where is it dialing out to, and who is dialing out"

"That is just it sir. There isn't an address. No one dialed out. The new computer systems won't allow for unauthorized gate travel. Two officers must confirm permission by typing in their passwords before it starts to dial out, but the gate is currently bypassing all the systems protocols."

"Close the iris."

"We can't sir. We have been locked out of the system."

While half listening to Carter's report, Jack had one of his dumb idea solutions. "Can't we just unplug the gate?" Jack's suggestion was quickly considered by Sam.

"It might be possible, but whoever tried to unplug it would be put in great danger."

"Well, we have to try something. I will have two technicians suit up and try to disconnect it."

Hammond never even got the chance to give the order. A small dot of colour appeared in the center of the gate, at the same point where all the sparks disappeared. The spot continued to grow and spread out to the edges of the gate. It looked like something from a witch's caldron or from a modern art gallery. All the colours in the spectrum swirled together in a random, chaotic fashion. The sparks began to travel away from the gate into the center of the room. The center of this new event horizon started to cave in and form a vortex.

Soldiers slid farther away from the gate. Most wanted to leave the gate room all together, but they couldn't leave their posts. One of the braver soldier inched closer to the gate, hoping for a glimpse of what was affecting the gate. A nearby electricity strike quickly sent him back to his post. For a while, no one moved. They just stood and stared. Even if the gate had an instruction manual, it probably would not have covered this situation.

The sparks no longer were striking at random. They gathered at the very top of the gate into a giant ball of light. The ball slowly floated down into the center of the vortex….. and exploded.

Carter subconsciously reached and grabbed onto O'Neill's shirt, in order to ground herself to something stable and solid. He felt her reach for him, and gripped her shoulder tightly, hoping to provide some sort of comfort.

All this happened in mere moments. For a long time after the explosion, no one moved. They couldn't. Everyone in the gate room was momentarily paralyzed from being tossed around from the blast, and those in the control room were blinded from the light. Slowly, sight returned to the SGC.

No severe injuries on any of the personnel. The windows remained intact. No more sparks or strange vortexes plagued the gate. Only one difference caught Hammond's eye.

A blue box with the words "Police Public Call Box" written on the top stood in the center of the gate room.

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The Tardis stopped moving.

And the Doctor woke up.

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	5. Chapter 4

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 4: He is reading a book on human anatomy. I think he is confused about some of it. No, that isn't how it works. Don't ask me; ask someone who knows what they are talking about. But I don't know why. Fine.

Body Piercings Cure Cancer.

(Happy Labor Day. Sorry it took longer to produce, but I really wanted to get a chapter out before the weekend ended. Be thankful that this chapter is out so soon. School is really giving me a hard time now, and life has just gotten more difficult. Thank you everyone who read, reviewed or put me on their good list. Points to Angel-Hunteress who correctly answered my question from last time. This does take place quite a bit after that episode though, about the fourth or fifth season. I am glad that so many people have taken a liking to my story. One more note: many of the memories I have given the Doctor haven't actually happened in the series. I never got the chance to watch the old series, so I am making up some of this stuff as I go. Iris, however, did exist in the series.)

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The Doctor woke up, feeling like he had just picked a fight with a kicking Mantsu from the planet Forbecistan and lost. He certainly would know what that felt like. While trying to escape another group of angry locals (how was he supposed to know they would take offense to him calling their very unattractive queen Baba Yaga), he had hidden himself in what he thought was an empty cave. He was mistaken. He had nearly regained his breath when a seven foot tall Mantsu had picked him up and thrown him into the wall a few times. Ten cracked ribs, three broken canteens and a very flustered flock of ducks later, he escaped only to run into the mob again. A very bad day for him.

But, now on to more current events. He apparently did not receive any more injuries while he slept. If anything, many of them had begun to heal. The Tardis hadn't died. Perhaps this dimension had Timelords. Perhaps he had a chance to see his people again. They might even be able to help him get home… or get to Rose.

He managed to stand up and move a few feet to pick up his sonic screwdriver that had fallen out of his pocket sometime during his "trip" (his money was on when he was hanging from the ceiling). He used it to scan the consol of the Tardis. Most of the life support systems had not been damaged at all. The ones that had sustained damage could easily be repaired. Now to figure out exactly where the Tardis had landed.

The screen showed him a picture of the outside. The Tardis had apparently landed in a large concrete room, filled with soldiers. The soldiers must have been knocked out by the force of him entering this world. That didn't really surprise him, but something about this concerned him. They soldiers were positioned in a semi circle around the Tardis, as if they were expecting him to appear. They were also heavily armed. By their weapons and their uniforms, he guessed he had landed in early 21st century Earth, probably America. The time and planet both gave the Doctor hope. Perhaps he had been sent to Rose. Only one way to find out.

The modification he made to her cell phone went beyond just the distance and time barrier. It also made it fairly indestructible, and even if the battery was dead or the phone was turned off, the Tardis would still be able to reach it. In case you don't understand the relevance of this, he could call her number from the Tardis, and if she picked up, the Tardis had landed in her dimension after all.

To him, the phone seemed twice as far than normal. Pain, hope, excitement, and a head injury distorted his perception of distance.

Finally, he is at the phone. His concussion must be worse than he thought; he is having difficulty remembering her number. Ah, now he remembers. It's ringing, that's a good sign.

"Hello, Montecelly residence."

Okay, not Rose, but perhaps he should ask just to make sure.

"Is a Miss Rose Tyler there?"

"Umm, no. I think you have the wrong number."

"Sorry to have bothered you."

With his hopes deflated, he knew his next step had to be….. Realizing he had dialed the wrong number!

Bloody concussion. That wasn't Rose's number, he isn't too sure about whose number it is, but the important thing is, it's not hers.

Let's try this again. More ringing. Still ringing. Pick up already.

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Rose has a strange feeling. She didn't know how to explain it, but it felt like the Doctor was near. Very close.

A week went by before her and her family had returned home. They did not move Rose for a few days out of concern for her condition. The first couple of days after the Doctor's message, Rose had refused both food and water. All she could do was stare into space, cursing fate's twisted sense of humor. One the third day, she got up, washed up, changed her clothes, and readied herself to face the world. The pain wasn't gone, but she could still follow his instructions. She needed to live her life. He would want her to try to find happiness.

However, she couldn't stand to part with her phone. Her only connection to the Doctor, the proof that their time together was real. For fun she had dialed random numbers just to see if they would work. Almost every time, someone had answered. Most of the time the language spoken wasn't her own, many times, the language didn't seem human. She got a kick from the fact aliens existed here as well, but she missed the instant translation the Tardis offered.

Now she held the phone in her hand. Please let it be true, let him be near.

The light on the phone turned on. It rang.

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A very bored man answered the phone. "Roma Corner Pizza Parlor. How can I help you?"

The Doctor dropped the phone back into the cradle. He had definitely gotten her number right that time.

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Rose kept looking at her phone. The ring was only in her mind. She no longer felt the Doctor's presence. She sighed and turned the phone off. Time for work.

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The explosion had shaken everyone up pretty bad, but nothing had been damaged. The soldiers in the gateroom were the last to rejoin the world of the conscious. All in all, they seemed to have gotten lucky. Usually strange phenomenon like this leave more damage. The brave soldier who had tried to approach the gate before the ball of light had exploded got up first. This nameless foot soldier never got much attention for the heroic deeds he had done, but that didn't really bother him. He was young and curious and loved being a part of such a wonderful place. He idolized SG-1 and all of the SG teams. He hoped one day that he could join a team and make it offworld to explore the galaxy (and hopefully live long enough to talk about his adventures once he again returned to the base). But all of this background information on him is meaningless. In the turning of the cosmos, his place is very small, too small to even mention his name. His importance lies in the fact he was the first to get up and approach the strange new object. His greatest strength and weakness lies within his curiosity. He walked up to the doors of the Tardis and knocked.

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The Doctor heard the knock and checked the screens again. No casualties on their end. Lucky them. One of them had even mustered up the courage to approach his ship. He chuckled at the curiosity of humans; then he realized something. His Tardis hadn't chosen this course; it had been forcefully pulled into this universe. These humans looked like they had expected him. Put two and two together and you get these humans had pulled him into their universe somehow. They had interrupted perhaps the most important moment in his life. A red haze clouded his vision (only partly due to the anger, his injuries were really starting to take their toll). These stupid, stupid humans. He tried to move to the doors to give them a piece of his mind, but he fainted before he could take a step.

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"Okay, now can someone here tell me why there is a blue telephone box in the middle of the gateroom?"

The box just stood there, the light on the top blinking every so often. Flicking really, like a light bulb about to burn out. They saw the nameless soldier knock on the Tardis. Cringing at his bold (and possibly highly dangerous) move, they soon calmed when nothing came out, exploded or went on a mindless killing spree.

Jack and Sam realized they were still hanging on to each other and quickly moved away from one another before someone got any ideas.

Daniel was the first to speak, "Well, it appears to be a public call box. They were used in Britain in the 60s for civilians to call for help. They also served as temporary holding cells for criminals."

"That is all very well and good, but what is one doing inside the SGC."

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What many of the Doctor's companions never quite understood was that the Tardis truly was alive. She had a life-force, she could think, and she could also feel. She loved the Doctor, not the same way humans experienced love, but the feeling was just as powerful. His pain hurt her. That is why she tried so hard to help him to reach Rose. But now his pain reached beyond his heart. The injuries he sustained may be too extensive for his own natural healing powers to cope with. He only had three lives left after this one, and the Tardis didn't want him to lose one of his remaining few lying injured on her floor when she could help him. Her systems were badly damaged and she couldn't move to a safer location, so she would have to trust those outside. She could sense their good hearts, but she also sensed their fear. At least they had had experience with extraterrestrials before. With a slight groan, she started up a very useful, but rarely used system.

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Sam was about to give a quickly thought up idea about the origins of the box, when the third weird thing of the day happened.

The doors of the box opened, and a man feel out.

Why can't they just have a normal day, with a normal lunch and normal blue Jell-O?

Than again, strange, alien, blue Jell-O would be a whole lot more fun.


	6. Chapter 5

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 5: Is this normal? You mean you really haven't noticed? He is using his chicken sandwich as a sacrifice to the vending machine.

(-pets all the lovely people who read, reviewed or put this story on an alert list- Sorry for the delay. I am going to use the broken car and horrible college teachers excuse. Hopefully I will be able to set a schedule of one chapter a week. Sorry if my medical references were in any way wrong. I am not a doctor or a med student. Please send me a message to correct me if I am wrong. As a side note, I am not as happy with this chapter as I was with the others, but I didn't really have the time to put as much effort into this one. I hope you enjoy it all the same.)

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There were times that her experience with the Doctor came in handy.

For most people, adventures in time and space with an alien from a dead species would only provide a new outlook on life and wonderful bedtime stories for the younger generation; however, Rose fell into the one percent of one percent of people who could actually use her knowledge in her day to day life. Shortly after coming to terms with her abandonment, she applied for a job at Torchwood. By apply, we mean she walked in the door only to be hounded by dozens of scientists asking for her to identify whatever strange alien object they held. Needless to say, it didn't take much to get her a very well paid consulting job. She didn't even need her new dad to give her a recommendation.

She often surprised herself with how much knowledge she had absorbed during her time with the Doctor. She could identify at least half of the objects in Torchwood and could usually identify who made the other fifty percent. With her help, Torchwood avoided quite a few nasty mishaps. Once a young man who only recently started there discovered a collar similar to those the Slitheen family wore. Rose managed to stop him before he put one on. After giving a rough explanation that their purpose was to shrink a race of aliens so that they could fit in human skin suits, he stared at her for a little while, and then laughed. We did say he was new. He had yet to be introduced to Rose, and thus didn't know of her previous experience. He only saw a bleached blonde with a Cockney accent. Rose savored the moment she could tell that pompous ass of a man "I told you so." The collars weren't meant for human and had a very strange side effect. It shrank him down to the size of a five year old child, gave him an appetite for broccoli, and made him smell like a cross between ammonia and rancid meat. Oddly enough it didn't give him the flatulence that plagued the Slitheen, but the odor probably was a worse punishment. Removing the collar didn't help. Two weeks later, he finally showed some sign of improving, but it took a month before he returned to normal size and three months before people could stand to be in the same room as him without pouring perfume on him.

Because of that incident (and several similar ones), the director of Torchwood added a new rule to the handbook. The First rule of Torchwood: You do not talk about Torchwood. (I know, bad 

Fight Club reference, but it fit.) The second rule of Torchwood: Obey Rose. If you choose to do otherwise, may God have mercy on your soul. Since then, no one dared risk the consequences of not listening to her.

On a slightly unrelated note: the jerk who had laughed at her and put on the Slitheen collar asked her out about a week later. Rose would have laughed at his offer, but that would have required her to breathe, and he still smelled horrid. Instead she opted to run out of the room and later send him an email telling him to go to Hell. She couldn't stay in the same room with him long enough to tell him off face to face. That didn't stop him. To date he has asked her out fifteen times.

Her mother was genuinely thrilled for her. Rose's depression had distressed her, and now Rose often came how brimming with wonderful news and stories to talk about during dinner. It reminded her of Rose coming home from another adventure with her Doctor. Having her father around to give his support didn't hurt either.

Now if she could just find her daughter a nice man to settle down with. That one young man seemed nice enough if you could ignore his apparent BO problem.

If life wasn't perfect for the Tyler family, it was at least very comfortable.

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"Medical team to the gateroom!"

Janet and her team rushed into the gateroom from their posts. Due to the increase in teams coming back injured, new policy dictated that a medical team be stationed right outside the door in case of emergencies. It took all of twenty seconds for them to file into the gateroom. The soldiers scooted to the sides, knowing better than to get in the way of the medic team. The new visitor had to be examined for potential threats, but no one was foolish enough to get in Janet's way. Interrogation could wait; Janet wouldn't.

"Pulse is erratic. He's fibrillating badly. He is having trouble breathing. Broken bones in his…" Janet's diagnosis paused as the man went into a spasm of coughing. Red foam bubbled up into the corner of his mouth. Not good. "Internal bleeding." Janet rambled off a list of everything she needed done as they wheeled him in to the infirmary. X-rays, a blood test, and a CAT scan were on the top of the to do list. Since he didn't seem to be in any real danger of dying on the table, she needed to know more about the damage done to his body before she could continue.

There was also the matter of determining whether or not he was a Goa'uld. She quickly checked him over. He actually looked kind of cute. Probably in his mid thirties. His attire looked ordinary and modern, but you could never tell with the Goa'uld. The blood tests would conclusively determine this, but she decided to opt out on a quicker, lower tech solution. SG-1 had followed her to the infirmary (you could never be too careful about strange visitors appearing out of thin air). O'Neill walked into the room and picked up the man's coat that the med team had pulled off earlier and began riffling through his pockets, pulling out a random assortment of trinkets. Janet ushered for Teal'c and Carter to join her beside the man.

"Well, can you sense any naquadah?"

They looked rather uneasy examining him. Understandable for Carter. She had long since discovered new visitors didn't always mean new friends, but Teal'cs reaction bothered Janet somewhat. He face rarely showed the kind of emotion displayed right now.

"No, I don't sense any naquadah in him, but there is something… strange about him."

"Strange? How so?"

"I'm not sure… What do you think, Teal'c?"

He just stood there for a second, as if he hadn't heard her. His pause concerned Janet just as much as his facial expression when he finally answered. His looked had changed from puzzlement and uneasy to something akin to fear and awe. "I agree, his is not a Goa'uld, but there is something ... about him."

"Makes you feel almost like you should be following him. Listening to everything he says. You kind of feel… safe around him." Jack nearly dropped the man's jacket. Carter was a very logical, down to earth type of woman (well, as down to earth as she could get, traveling in wormholes to other planets), hardly the type to express this type of reverence for someone she had never met before.

"Actually Samantha Carter, my symbiote fears this man and wishes him harm."

Stranger and stranger.

But not as strange as the contents of this man's jacket. One would not have guessed at a first glance, but this man's coat contained a rather large assortment of items. O'Neill had pulled out of its pockets five handkerchiefs, a bag of jelly beans, two crumbled cookies, a satsuma (Jack's aunt had loved the bloody fruit), a packet of blue Jell-O mix, three chess pieces (two pawns and a knight), a very tiny bunny plushy, a small book entitled The Enigma of Humans and Ginger Snaps, a packet of chewing gum, and three rubber ducks. What a man had in his pockets told you a lot about his personality, but what kind of man carried around three rubber ducks?

He was about to put the jacket back down on the table when he noticed an object he had missed. This is slightly puzzling. While all the other objects one could get at probably any store, this object screamed alien technology. It was slightly bigger than a pen with several buttons and small switches on the side and a little light on one end. He turned to face his waiting teammates; Janet had already left with the John Doe.

"Carter, what do you make of this?"

Carter took the object from him, turning it over in her hands. "Doesn't look like Goa'uld design. I couldn't tell you what it does, but I guess I should analyze it. I can compare it to the different 

technologies we have encountered; that might tell us more about where this man came from and how technically advanced his culture is."

Most of this sounded like fuzzy static to Jack, but he trusted Carter's judgment, and nodded his approval. He picked up the rest of the objects from the table and placed them in an empty basket he found near the table. The objects looked innocent enough, but anything could be a weapon. He paused when he saw the book. He hadn't ever heard of it before, but he didn't read too many books that didn't have something blowing up (same went for the type of movies he watched). This was more so up Daniel's alley. He picked it up and handed it to Daniel. "Ever heard of this book before?"

"Can't say I have. I don't even recognize the author." A very strange name for an author. Who had ever heard about an author named The Dreaded Blight of Asters? If he had heard of this book before, he certainly would have remembered.

"Figure out what it is about, might tell us something."

That didn't bother Daniel too much. He was just happy to help. Usually when someone came through the gate, they wore an ancient style of clothing or spoke a dead Earth language. Daniel could take what he learned about them and figure out what human culture it resembled, but this man wasn't conscious enough to speak, and his clothes looked the same as any he could buy in a men's department store. He had been looking forward to trying to catch up on his work with the artifacts, but those could wait.

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A big day for Torchwood. A recent discovery had sent all of the staff into a frenzy of activity. The last big discovery had been a scrap tarnished metal that one could mould into different shapes like clay, but they found that over a year ago, and since than, nothing of any great importance had been found.

In an attempt to escape the long arm of the law, a petty thief had tried to hide in an abandoned library. Once a brilliant place to spend the day, a freak earthquake had turned the place into complete rubble, with a sprinkling of broken furniture and torn book pages. Our daring thief wasn't too bright and didn't look at where he was going. He smacked into a wall hard enough to cause it to tremble and crack (not a very sturdy building in case you can't tell). When the cops found him, he had passed out with a large cut on his forehead. The wall had taken even more damage. His head knocked a huge hole in the wall. The cops noticed the wall was hollow and peered inside. They found a very strange item in the wall, which they quickly handed over to Torchwood.

Now all of Torchwood was in a rush to figure out what it was. New technology meant new possibilities. And new possibilities could lead to better ways for the Earth to defend itself from the unknown dangers of the galaxy.

Personally, Rose couldn't figure out what was so special about a mirror.

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Daniel returned to his office already flipping through the pages of the book in hopes of gleaning some of what it was talking about. All he could tell so far is that whoever wrote apparently didn't like dust mites. The introduction of the book was entitled "Reasons Why All the Dust Mites in the Universe Should Die." Whoever wrote it had some serious issues.

He sat down at his desk, beginning to read the book from the beginning, when he saw the little figure of the snail eating the apple he had left on his desk. He had left it precariously perched on a corner. He decided to move it before it got knocked off and damaged.

That's strange. Those words weren't there last time he saw the object. Before he had left to go check out the problems in the gateroom, he had noticed a strange pattern of wavy lines on the bottom of the figurine. They weren't there anymore. Instead in their place were the words, "To my beholden on the day of your birth. May the skies favor your thoughts and deeds."

He rummaged through the papers on his desk until he found the object's file. Inside was a detailed description of the object, sketches he had drawn and a picture he had taken of it. The sketches showed the object with the wavy lines at the bottom, but when he looked at the picture, he saw the message again.

Another file lay open on his desk. This one was on a tablet found on a Goa'uld stronghold. Since he had met Teal'c, he had studied the language so he could achieve mastery over it. Now he was nearly fluent in Goa'uld, so he could read the tablet without much trouble. He looked at a picture he had taken of it. The inscription was not longer written in Goa'uld… it was in English.

He set the book aside. This is more important.

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	7. Chapter 6

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 6: What do you give the ambassador of a highly advanced civilization of aliens? I am thinking chocolate. Or soap. A nice soap basket. With ribbons. No? Chocolate it is.

(Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. Getting positive reviews makes me feel special. I especially like the reviews begging for me to continue. I feel wanted. Three points to anyone who knows who Mot is. Also, the words on the tablet came from another fanfic I am writing that will be out at some point in time. I know this chapter is shorter than some of the more recent ones, but I was inspired to get one out as soon as possible. Three points to keightsmileface for mentioning to the Doctor Who movie. I used it as a medical reference.)

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In her defense, she was new. Nurse Pamela Carthy had only been recently hired to replace one of the older nurses who decided her heart could no longer take the pressure of this job. She was one of the cute, new nurses Jack had noticed in the gateroom. She looked rather out of place in the SGC. With her perfect cheekbones, flawless coffee coloured skin, generous curves, bright hazel eyes, and sleek, perfect blonde hair, Ms. Carthy looked as if she belonged in a beauty competition or on the cover of some gentlemen's magazine. She had the type of beauty that would make men stop whatever they were doing to watch her walk past; they even offered her their blue Jell-O in hopes of receiving a kind word (or even better, a phone number). Despite her ravishing good looks, she came to the SGC well qualified with a 3.6 GPA and recommendations from numerous doctors who had worked with her. Many assumed she got by in life with just her looks, but she was serious about her job, and expected the same from everyone else around her. She would not give in to the flirtatious banter of the SGC soldiers, and she would not slack off in her duties.

Her only fault was her imagination… or rather the lack of it.

In a facility that catered to all walks of life, human, alien and other, one had to be a tad bit more flexible in the way they thought. When she took a look at Mr. John Doe's x-rays, she noticed something very strange, her patient had two hearts. Without a second thought, she threw the picture away. In her mind there was no other explanation other than that the picture had been double exposed.

She would take another one once they finish scanning his head for injuries and snaky things.

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They all were looking at her.

It was kind of creepy, but expected.

The newest of the Torchwood collection stood in front of her, and all the scientists stood around her and the mirror in a semicircle expecting her to say something about it origin, but this time she was truly stumped. The specialists in the field of alien science gobblety goop rattled off facts and figures of strange energy ratings or something that Rose didn't really understand. She had seen thousands of mirrors when she traveled with the Doctor, but none looked like this. She couldn't see how this one was special.

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Jack was getting really tired of this day.

"Jack! Jack! Hold up a second!" Jack turned to see what Daniel was yelling at him for. Hadn't he given him that book to read? What was with all the papers he was carrying?

"What is it Daniel?"

Daniel handed him a picture. "Can you read this?" Jack glanced at the picture. It was a picture of a tablet they had found on a recent expedition. He remembered this one, because he nearly took a staff blast to the arm trying to pick it up when Daniel dropped it. He would have just left it, but apparently it was the written history of the Goa'uld and thus priceless or something. He personally didn't get how that would be worth getting captured by Mot's Jaffa. He held out the picture so Daniel could take it back.

"Of course I can't read it. What is this about?"

"Look again."

Jack mentally sighed and humored him. "As their numbers grew, so did their appetite, and their favorite dish was always the same, Goa'uld. Our numbers began to dwindle as… What the Hell?" He turned to Daniel hoping for some kind of explanation. All he got was another picture.

"Read this, the inscription on the bottom."

The statue of the snail. Jack had thought it looked kind of cool. If it weren't for the fact that it may hold some important archeological significance, he would have asked if he could keep it. Those words on the bottom weren't there before. "To my beholden… Daniel, what is going on here?"

"Jack, what language have I been speaking?"

Now he was getting frustrated. "English, now would you please tell me what the Hell is going on."

"I don't know."

Jack was just about ready to hit him.

"I am not speaking English. I am speaking Russian. I have been since I called out to you. I can't explain it, but everything is being translated."

Jack's turn to test the insta-translator that seems to be floating around the air. Jack searched his brain for the Latin lessons Daniel had given during the time loops. Of course now that he was trying to recall the lessons, he couldn't think of anything to say. When in doubt, stick to something simple.

"Seize the day."

Of course he hadn't say "seize the day," he had said "carpe diem." He knew he had said "carpe diem," but he heard it in English.

They just stood there for a second, taking it all in.

Quiet moments don't last long in the SGC.

A very confused Dr. Enli Jin walked out into the hall screaming, "Why the Hell is everybody speaking in Chinese today?"

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The longer Rose looked at the mirror, the stranger she felt. It didn't look special, she didn't recognize it from anywhere, but now it almost seemed familiar.

"Something's missing."

The scientists looked at her with the hope she would continue and explain that.

Instead Rose shook her head and walked off. The feeling of deja vu was too strong. That mirror gave her a creepy feeling. It almost reminded her of the Tardis. Such an ordinary blue box, yet it held all the wonders of the universe. Did the mirror hide some sort of power as well?

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The blue box had been easily removed from the gateroom. It only took three soldiers and a rather large trolley to move it to one of the many other rooms. Hammond decided to have them drop it off at Carter's lab.

Next item on the list, the owner of the blue box. Janet should have had time to finish all her tests. The soldier beside him stubbed his toe on a box lying on the ground.

"Damn it."

"Soldier, watch your language."

The soldier stood there for a moment, confused that Hammond understood what he had said. Apparently he had used the wrong language; he usually cussed in French since most of the personnel couldn't understand him.

They caught Janet in the hallway. "Janet, what can you tell me about our guest."

"Not much right now, he isn't a Goa'uld, and as far as I can tell, he is human. His injuries are quite extensive. Many of his bones are broken, and he is suffering from internal bleeding, but I don't know the full extent of the damages. Apparently the x-rays were double exposed. We just took a new set, but they haven't finished developing yet."

He followed her to the infirmary, where the man lay on one of the beds. Most of the nurses were more focused on the other patient in the room. Salez had decided that she no longer needed hospital care. They calmed her down with threats of sedation and painful unnecessary tests. One of the nurses could finally leave her side long enough to check their patient's temperature. Ten seconds later she called Janet into the room in a panic.

"Frasier, the patient's temperature is 62."

Another ten seconds and she was at his beside. "Impossible, the thermometer must be broken." She took out her own thermometer. 62 degrees Fahrenheit.

"Frasier," the tech guy walked in with x-ray pictures in his hands; he looked especially interested in one of them, "I think you should take a look at this."

"Can it wait?"

"This guy has two hearts."

This made her look up. Pamela spoke up, "No he doesn't. The pictures were double exposed."

"No, they weren't. Look again."

Janet took the images from him. "Carthy, get the pictures you threw away."

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"Don't forget about the meeting on Friday."

Rose nodded to signal she heard him.

"Want to do something afterwards? Get a cup of coffee?"

This time she didn't even nod. Better not to give a response, it just encourages him.

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Janet compared the two images. "He does have two hearts, and that's not all. In this earlier picture his right shoulder is broken. Thirty minutes later, his shoulder has almost completely healed. I don't know who this guy is, but he isn't completely human. I guess this could also account for his lower body temperature, but I have really no way of knowing."

Janet walked back to the John Doe's bedside, "What are you?"

The man reached up and grabbed her arm, "I am the Doctor. I would appreciate it if you returned my things and my ship back to me.

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	8. Chapter 7

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

**By: Gyte-san**

**Chapter 7: Who would have thought that an entire civilization could be brought down by chocolate? I knew we should have given them the soap basket.**

(Thank you, everyone. I really mean it. I have not updated in the longest time, yet you do not ridicule me, insult me, or tar and feather me. It is a wonderful feeling to know you have fans. A double special thanks to those who reviewed to show me their support. Sorry this chapter will be slightly shorter than most, but I really wanted to get it out for all of you wonderful, wonderful people. An extra note: This is the second time I have posted this chapter, I fixed a few little errors I accidentally left in.)

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A soldier quietly slinked along the walls of the SGC. He mainly kept to the shadows and every so often slowly turned his head from side to side, checking to make sure no one was following him to his destination. His skills might have seen more impressive if it weren't for the fact he was humming his own background music. A few minutes later he reached the room that served as the kitchen storeroom. Taking another glance down the hall to make sure he wasn't being watched (forgetting that cameras had monitored his every move, several SGC personnel were currently laughing at his antics), he quietly opened the door just enough for him to slide through.

He made his way towards the back of the storeroom, nearly knocking a large crate of lychee fruit off of a shelf in the process. In the farthest, darkest corner of the room there was a small card table with two chairs, one at each end. A black cowboy hat lay on top along with a small, blue spiral notebook. A man sat in the shadows, his face obscured by a very large chef hat.

Our soldier stopped a few feet short of the table. A small bead of sweat dropped down his face. His nervousness was very apparent. He tried to swallow his fear and regain his composure. He slowly took those last few steps to the table. He slammed his hand down on the table, but the man in the chef's hat didn't even flinch.

"Fifty bucks says that the alarm goes off again before the day is out."

He removed his hand from the table, showing a slightly crumpled fifty dollar bill. Our mystery man took the bill and inspected it for a few seconds. He marked it with a special marker and placed it under a UV light (both are ways to tell if a bill is a forgery). Obviously satisfied with the authenticity of the money, he placed in the hat, which already contained a large number of bills of all denominations, and marked the bet down in the spiral notebook.

"Alarm going off, very good bet. It has 4 to 1 odds. I also have 2 to 1 odds that it will go off before midnight tomorrow. A note will be placed in your locker within twenty four hours with any earnings you have won. A pleasure doing business with you."

Oh yes. All this secrecy was to protect the SGC's betting ring. The kitchen staff had started it years ago. At first it was limited to the kitchen staff alone, but O'Neill had surprised them one day, showing up in their storage room. They had thought he had come to close down their operation; instead, he became the first outsider to place a bet. Since then, many SGC soldiers and technicians (including a special appearance of Teal'c) had showed up to the kitchen storage room to make a bet. The betting ring was still a very hush-hush matter. It wasn't exactly allowed, so everyone made sure not to talk about it outside of the storage room, though many figured Hammond already knew about it, he just kept a blind eye to it as long as it didn't get out of hand. There were rules, and the biggest rule of all was that no bets be placed on life. Meaning, you couldn't bet on who would live, who would die, or how long it would take someone to die. The only exception to this rule was Daniel. Bets were often placed on how long it would be for him to "die" again. The first time Daniel found out about this, he got really upset and spent an entire day in one of the artifact rooms, sulking. Eventually he lighted up to the entire situation and began to find it amusing as well.

"Before you leave, would you like to place any bets on our new visitor? I have 12 to 1 odds that he is a Goa'uld. 20 to 1 odds on him being a Tollan. You interested?"

The soldier quickly shook his head. He had heard of the new visitor in the SGC (everybody had by that time), but he still didn't have enough information on him to feel comfortable betting on him.

"Very well. Have a nice day."

The soldier left in the same manner he had entered, bad theme music and all. This time as he exited, he bumped into the shelf containing the box of blue Jell-O mix. The chef cringed at the loud crash, sighed quietly, and got up to help remove the large box currently had him pinned to the floor.

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Rose awoke with tears streaming down her face.

This is the same way she had woken up for weeks. Though she put up a strong front when she was around her mother, it broke her heart to be so far from the Doctor's giggery-pokery self. No matter how sappy it sounded, she had been snatched from her one true love, and no one truly recovers from that. Her mom is a prime example. She had dated after her father had died and had taken on many lovers, yet when she had seen him again, she could not stop herself from throwing herself on him. They had gotten married (or remarried in a sort of twisted way) only a few weeks after the incident that had brought them together.

Rose couldn't help envying her mother. Rose knew the Doctor could not exists here, the time vortex didn't exist, so the Time Lords had all died, including her doctor if he had even been born in this dimension.

She could function well enough during the daylight hours. She threw herself into her work in order to escape her thoughts. When that had stopped being enough to occupy her time, she enrolled in one of the local colleges. She signed up for math and science courses hoping they might help her understand the tech geeks that mobbed her at work. She was surprised at what she already new. Traveling with the Doctor was certainly to thank. It was easy to hide from her feelings in the daylight, but she couldn't hide at night.

Her dreams were filled with him. With his smile, his touch, his bad attempts at a Jamaican accent. Last night she had a dream about the time he had taken her to see the 1988 Olympics when the first Jamaican bobsled team made their debut. He had her in stitches the entire time trying to copy their accent.

She wiped her tears from her face. Time to forget the past to face the day.

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"I demand that my things be returned to me!"

Janet could only stare at the man who was clutching her arm. One of soldiers that had been assigned to guard him pulled out his zat gun, "Release Doctor Fraiser or I will shoot."

The Doctor turned to the soldier with a look of contempt on his face. He was in no mood to be threatened. He pushed Janet away from him, sat up and began to advance on the soldier. "Don't you dare threaten me! Because of your race's stupidity, I have lost my one chance. I demand that you return my ship to me and send me home RIGHT NOW!"

The Doctor was only a few feet from the solider now. He was scarred, terrified actually. He had faced many dangers before, but this man instilled more terror in him than dozens of angry Jaffa soldiers. Instinct took over, and he fired his zat.

The Doctor looked stunned for a second when the zat blast hit him. The pain was severe and blinding, but it didn't knock him out. On the contrary, it made him even more determined to hurt everyone in this bloody place that was making his life a living Hell. He continued to advance toward the soldier, thinking of all the ways he was going to hurt him.

Seeing the strange scary man still up and walking, our poor soldier panicked. He fired at the Doctor again. This shot made the Doctor stagger a little, but it didn't stop him. He fired a third time. This time the Doctor fell to his knees. He showed some signs on trying to get up, but he couldn't quite make it. He collapsed on the floor.

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	9. Chapter 8

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 8: Okay, new rule: You are never allowed you bring your mother-in-law to an offworld mission

(Okay, okay. I know I am a bad, lazy person, but I will try to get better. It has been way too long since I have updated. Lucky for my fans, the roads have iced over, my volunteer group has canceled work for today, and I don't really feel like moving away from my heater, so now is the perfect time for me to get a new chapter in. I really want to thank everybody who has reviewed. Every time I read a new review, I get a warm tingly feeling inside, which might just be indigestion, but I would like to think it is happiness. Ten points to everyone who knows enough German to translate the bar's name.)

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For a while, nobody moved. A perfectly normal reaction for when you see something clearly impossible. One zat stuns and knocks you out, two kills you, the third removes all evidence that you ever existed. This new stranger broke the rules and threw the crumpled remains out the window. Teal'c and Carter's reaction to him now make a lot more sense.

Janet was the first to awake from her daze. A quick once over told her he was still alive. She turned Hammond and his group of soldiers, disapproval clear in her eyes, "He seems fine as best as I can tell, but I don't think zatting him three times is going to speed up his recovery."

The soldier who had zatted him flinched. "I did warn him, and the first two zat blasts didn't stop him."

"Soldier, while I can understand your reasoning behind it, you actions were out of line. This man posed very little threat to us until you threatened him. I am putting you on level five guard duty until further notice."

The soldier nodded, signaling he understood Hammond's order. Very little happened on level five. Very little. There aren't even labs on that level. It mainly consists of storage rooms for broken equipment.

Now on to more important matters. What kind of being could survive three zat blasts? Their stranger was getting more unusual by the minute. First, he shows up in a very strange manner, in a blue box no less. Then, his injuries heal themselves at an alarming rate that would make a Goa'uld envious. Now he has done the impossible. Three zat blasts and you are not just dead, there isn't supposed to even be a body to bury.

"Hammond, why is everybody speaking Chinese?"

Dr. Enli Jin ran into the room, practically hysterical, closely followed by Jack and Daniel.

"Hammond, something is translating everything!"

"Unscheduled Offworld Activation!"

There are days where Hammond wished he had a universal pause button.

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Oddly enough, Thursdays were her say off. At first she found this rather annoying, but then she realized how great Thursdays were. Everyone else had weekends off, so every business was crazy busy on the weekends. Errands that would have taken her the entire day to get done on Saturday or Sunday take only a couple of hours on Thursdays.

Unfortunately for her this Thursday was also the day the weather decided to let loose with the worst storm the city had seen in the past decade. There Rose was, miles away from home, stuck in the worst storm ever, with a bag in each hand, and without an umbrella.

She was debating how she could make it to the bus stop without getting soaked when she heard a voice behind her, "Need a place to wait out the rain?" She turned around to see an older gentleman leaning in the doorway behind her. She looked beyond him to see the dim lights, long bar, and bar stools that tipped her off that this was a bar. "Come on in. I'll buy you a drink; it looks like you need one." She still hesitated. After all, she did have work tomorrow. It wouldn't be the best idea to spend the evening getting drunk and going into work tomorrow with a hangover. Apparently seeing the look of doubt on her face, he again tried to persuade her, "We have other drinks besides alcohol. Might as well come in. It doesn't look like this storm is going to let up any time soon." That last statement convinced her. She had no chance getting home without getting soaked, and it was pointless to stand outside in this weather. She nodded and followed him into the bar.

It is weird how the universe works (regardless of which universe you are in). If Rose had bothered to look up, she would have noticed the sign for the bar. For many people the name would not mean anything special; however, the name Schlechter Wolf would mean a great deal to Rose.

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"Now SG-4, you weren't expected back for ten hours. All of you are back with no injuries, and nothing chased you back through the gate, so why are you here?" Leaving the infirmary, he decided that the mystery of the stranger could wait; after all they couldn't very well interrogate an unconscious man. As for Enli, Daniel and Jack, their mutterings about Chinese and an instant translator could also wait until he found out who was now trying to come through the Stargate.

SG-4 had left only a few hours before their new guest had made his dramatic appearance. The probes couldn't find anything special about P77-88N. Some trees, more rocks. Uninteresting, but the rocks did prove to be a problem. They couldn't get the probe to move more than a few feet from the Stargate. SG-4 volunteered to take an overnight trip to the new planet, not really expecting to find anything new. It was quiet a surprise to everyone when they showed up early and unharmed, a rare occurrence at the SGC.

SG-4 could barely contain their excitement. Being the leader of the group, Ross Manner pulled rank on his teammates so he could show Hammond their prize. The rest of the members of SG-4 were a bit peeved, but they would soon get over it. Making such a great discovery such as this would give them major points in the unofficial social ladder.

Omar Sanchez wasn't as peeved as he was confused. Since he arrived back to the SGC, he was pretty sure he was going crazy. Everybody was speaking Spanish, yet he knew that could not be true. Manner certainly didn't know Spanish, Sanchez figured that out one day on an offworld mission. He was very lucky that Manner didn't know Spanish; otherwise he would have gotten in so much trouble for teaching the locals a certain raunchy song. He shook his head slightly; he would figure it out later. He turned his attention back to Manner who was now presenting their new discovery.

"Soldier, what the hell is that?"

To answer his question, something very strange, very alien and very cool. It looked like a twisted blob of slivery metal, but it moved… or rather flowed. It didn't change it shaped, but it was clear that the "metal" moved. Imagine mercury. Now imagine mercury poured into a clear glass vial, giving it a form, but still swirling around all liquid-like. Now remove the glass. That is what Manner had in his hand.

"We found this material all over P77-88N. All over."

"And you just picked some up soldier! We have no clue whether it is dangerous or not! "

"It isn't, I swear. We did not come back until we were positive that it is harmless."

"And what did the locals say when you took this?"

"There are no locals. Usually there is always some village near the Stargate, but we couldn't find one. We couldn't find any signs that anyone lives anywhere near the Stargate. We searched all the area in a three-mile radius. There were no footprints, no broken branches. If anyone lives on that planet, they don't live anywhere near where we found this stuff. I don't think anyone will miss it" A broad grin spread across his face, "You haven't even seen the best part yet."

He set the piece of metal on the table. It sat there in the same shape, and then Manner began to mold it like one would mold clay. He played with it for a while, molding in into several shapes. Each time the metal held its form. "And now for my last trick." Manner molded the metal into one final shape. It now looked just like a sheet of aluminum stood on its edge. Manner took out his sidearm, causing the other soldiers in the room to take a defensive position, ready to make a move in case he had gone mad. "Don't worry, I don't plan on shooting anyone." He aimed at the metal and shot it.

"Manner, what the HELL are you doing?"

"Take a look for yourself." He pointed to the metal, which had stopped the bullet cold in its tracks. The bullet was sticking out of the metal. Manner reached over, plucked the bullet out and handed it to Hammond. The bullet was cool and there was no damage to the metal. If he hadn't known any better, he would have never guessed what had just happened.

"General, think of the possibilities. A moldable, bulletproof metal. This might just be the discovery the SGC has been waiting for."

Ross Manner might just be right. This could be one of the biggest discoveries of the SGC had seen. Hammond refused to get his hopes up.

"Reissen," the scientist of SG-4 stood up, "take this and do whatever tests you need to do on it. I am authorizing for you to have full use of Labs 5 and 6. Take whatever personnel and equipment you need. As for the rest of you, I want your full reports in within the hour. I also want you to get rechecked out by Frasier as soon as she gets the chance. Dismissed."

The members of SG-4 all got up to go do their duties. "Oh and SG-4," they paused to hear what Hammond had to say, "Good work." They smiled at the praise and left.

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The bar was clean and well kept. The comfortable atmosphere put Rose right at ease. There was a piano in the corner and a young (and very attractive) man played a smooth jazz tune. Booths lined three of the walls and a few scattered tables dotted the floor. Most of the room was left open, probably for people to dance though no one was currently on the floor. The bar was built in to the last wall. The bar was far from full. Two of the booths closest to the piano were full and a couple of men were conversing at the bar.

The bartender ushered Rose to an empty seat at the bar, a couple of stools away from the men. "What can I get you, Ms…?" He ended the question clearly expecting Rose to fill in her name.

"It's Rose, no need to me miss or anything." She glanced over the various drinks the people around her were having, some of them she couldn't identify and looked quite interesting. One of the men at the bar had a neon orange drink with a chocolate chip cookie floating on the top. "I don't really know, surprise me."

He gave her a quick smile, then turned around to prepare her drink. After a bunch of clanking and a few seconds of the blender, he poured a very strange concoction in a small fishbowl (a clean fishbowl, of course). He put a large twisty straw in it and slid it over to her.

Rose was a little uneasy at first. The drink was clear, but it had gummy bears and half of a satsuma floating on the top. Somehow he had also managed to put several electric blue bubbles in the drink.

"Go ahead, just try it. It is on the house."

You can't argue with free. Rose took the straw and took a sip. This was the most amazing drink she had ever had. All the weariness she had been feeling just went away. She felt incredible, almost like she had felt traveling with the Doctor.

"You like it, I can tell. This is a new drink I have been working on. You are my first customer to try it."

She took another long sip and smiled at him, "I love it."

"Want to know my secret?" He leaned in a little closer, "My secret ingredient is blue Jell-O mix."

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_Where?_

_Different… new_

_Where?_

_Far away_

_Signs?_

_Many… confused… too far away_

_When new understanding… contact again _

_Wait! Betrayal… stolen…_

_Betrayal? Who?_

_Them… protectors_

_Make them pay_

_Must grow_

_Do what must be done_

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	10. Chapter 9

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 9: Repeat after me. I will not use high power explosives to open

spaghetti sauce jars.

(Yes, I know. I am a horrible, horrible person. It has been forever since I had last updated. Blame my teachers and my computer. It isn't my fault that I manage to break every single computer that I come in contact with. Also, before you read this chapter, I added a little bit to the last chapter. It isn't anything life threatening, but I noticed I had left out a short bit that I had meant to put in. All fixed now. Enjoy. As always, those who review get a million points. Points are not redeemable for free airline miles. Also, I apologize for the fact that the doctor seems in a constant state of unconsciousness. He will wake up soon, but not in this chapter.)

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Fifteen minutes into studying the strange metal, Reissen was ready to pull her hair out. She needed to do some tests on the sample, but that required extracting a small piece from the blob they had collected. She tried pulling off a piece, but all that got her was a very stretched out piece of metal. She tried cutting a piece off with several pairs of scissors, a few knives and a machete that she had found lying about. (To all those who are concerned about the presence of a machete in her lab, there is a very valid reason for its location, one that is steeped in family tradition and superstition, but that story is way too long for any author to tell in a short, little fanfic such as this.) She even used a very small amount of C4 to try to blow a piece off. When that didn't work, she used a much larger piece. This was getting annoying. Time to break out the big guns, and by big guns, I mean the highly experimental, high-power laser cutters.

Of course this equipment was located on level 10, and one needed written permission from Hammond in order to gain access to it (this rule was implemented after a certain SG team decided to use the laser to cut open a particularly difficult-to-open package of caramel popcorn). So off she went, pausing only to lock her lab behind her.

This of course meant that the strange alien metal was left in a lab full of the most advanced human and alien technology on earth (well, there are a few pieces in Carter's lab that are slightly more advanced). Normally this would not be a problem. Metal doesn't really move all that much. Hardly at all actually, unless it is melted or Mercury, but that is beside the point. The point is, this normally wouldn't be a problem, but this time it is.

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_Necessary require all here plenty_

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Leaving regular metal alone isn't a problem. Leaving sentient metal alone is. Lucky for the SGC, it has no interest in the technology that currently surrounds it. It is far more interested in the variety of metals and minerals that they are composed of.

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A few drinks later and Rose found herself in a staring contest with a one-legged former ice skating champion. Funny thing is, he was born with only one leg, a problem that should have made this very difficult, but in fashion with many of the strange, supposedly unattainable goals humans set, he decided to become a legendary skater. All around them people were setting bets. Lynn had beaten every challenger that had faced him, but Rose was turning out to be a tough competitor to beat. His eyes were starting to quiver. Must not blink, must not blink, must…. He blinked. Cheers vibrated off of the bar walls. Rose had beaten the champion. Patrons of the bar patted her on the back and congratulated her. Lynn glared at her for a second, then broke out laughing. Seconds later Rose joined him, then the rest of the bar. They shook hands and promised each other a rematch.

They turned back to Tim, who passed them both another Barcelona Beach Dog. That was the name they had come up for the new gummy bear, blue Jell-O, satsuma, yet nonalcoholic drink. Rose sipped hers slowly and pondered her situation.

Rose could not remember how long she had been here. Minutes, hours. It seemed like days since she entered, and yet it also felt like she had been here all her life. Perhaps this should concern her. Many things seem innocent enough, but you could easily lose yourself in them. She could lose herself here. She felt like she was in another world, separate from the world outside, kind of like the Tardis. Once you step inside, the world outside doesn't matter quite as much as the world inside.

She should feel uneasy with this, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. Every time she got another look at those around her, she just felt happy. She couldn't sense any malice. She would have to leave eventually, but she could definitely see herself becoming a regular here.

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"Now Doctor Jackson, what is this you have been muttering about an instant translator?"

SG-4 was in the process of leaving the room, and Daniel, Jack, and Enli decided they could not wait any longer. They barged into the room, now with a larger entourage that include fifteen different SG personnel, including a very confused looking Teal'c and a muttering Carter.

They all started to talk at once, except for Teal'c who just stood there looking very imposing and every so often glared at those around him.

A zat blast fired in the air by O'Neill calmed them down considerably, giving Daniel time to very rapidly and incoherently tell Hammond about the translator.

The guards on duty ushered most of the people out of the room, but they left SG-1, and Enli, who was still twitching. Omar also decided to hang back a second to hear what was going on. He stalled his exit by pretending to be very busy with some papers that he had "accidentally" scattered.

Daniel took a deep breath and began again, this time with slower explanation. "About an hour ago, I noticed that I could understand the writings on several artifacts I had been studying. All the writing on them now appeared in English, and it isn't just limited to artifacts. Everything that I hear it in English and it is the same for everybody else on the base."

Dr. Jin interrupted his explanation, "That isn't true! I am hearing everything in Chinese. At first I didn't really notice it, but you are not speaking English. It isn't just as if I hear what you are saying in Chinese. If that were the case, your lips would be moving out of sink with the words, like a badly dubbed movie. You are speaking in Chinese."

"I agree, Enli Jin." All eyes on Teal'c now. "I did not notice for quite so time for I was more interested in the possible threat the stranger could present, but now I have noticed that all the personal on the base now speaks fluent Goa'uld. For a short while I assumed that the base had been compromised, and that the stranger had found a way to turn everyone into hosts. Fortunately, that does not appear to be true."

"That is what I was trying to explain. Everything is being translated into the birth language of everyone on base, but I can't explain what is causing this."

Omar stopped collecting the papers he purposefully… I mean accidentally scattered, "I was wondering what was going on. I mean, once I stepped through the gate, everything was in Spanish. The signs, what people were saying. I thought I was going crazy. And what is this I hear about a stranger?"

Hammond filled Omar in on a few of the details concerning the strange man with the blue box while Carter pondered the implications of what Omar had just said. "This only started after you came back through the gate, right?" A nod confirmed that fact. "And it is affecting everyone on the base, human and alien alike, and it started about the same time our new guest arrived." The gears turned faster in her head. "He must have something to do with this."

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"Something is missing…" Rose now couldn't keep her mind off of the mirror she had seen that morning. She couldn't explain why that object seemed almost familiar to her. And what exactly was missing?

"What is missing?" Mary Jane Sue (she demanded that every call her that, even though her real name is Mira) sat next to her holding a purple mud bath, a drink like bubble tea but with crushed avocado and a spinach leaf on top. "It is a guy isn't it." That wasn't a question. Mary Jane Sue stated it like a fact, for it was a fact. Rose tried to stammer out a denial, but Mary stopped her. "It is written all over your face don't try to deny it. Tell me about him."

Rose sighed and began, "He was perfect. He… everything around him was just so … fantastic. We went traveling together, all over. And each new place we visited was another adventure."

"So, why did he leave you? Another woman?"

"No, nothing like that. There was another woman for a short time," an evil thought directed to one dead French chick, "and an old flame popped up for a short time, but he… they were not… it wasn't like that. He just went on another adventure, and this time I couldn't follow."

"Something is missing indeed."

"That isn't what I meant. Um, I recently bought a, uh, appliance, and something is missing from the box, but I can't think of what."

"An appliance? Like a blender… or a tv or what?"

"Yes, I recently bought a new telly."

"Well, is it missing the remote?"

"The remote…?"

"Yeah, you know. The thing that turns it on and off. Has clicky buttons on the top. This ring any bells?" Mary was giving her the weirdest look right now.

"It didn't have a remote…. That's it; that is what it was missing!" Rose didn't know exactly how she knew this, but that mirror needed a remote. It didn't even make sense to her. How are you supposed to turn on a mirror?

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Everybody on the base was acting really strange today. First, there is a new rumor about some new guest in the SGC, and then she kept passing people muttering about how everyone is speaking in French/Russian/Italian/Japanese/etc. Hammond snapped at her when she asked for permission to use the laser cutter. Too much was going on for his comfort. He needed a vacation. She took the permission form and jetted out of there. She decided to remain scarce for the rest of the day. It wasn't like she didn't have enough to do anyway.

The laser took was much too large for her carry on her own, so he had to borrow a trolley from level 8, which took way too long in her opinion. A ten minute lets-go-get-a-laser run took almost an hour. Many things about this base were way too inefficient for her tastes. Luckily, the metal isn't going to go anywhere.

And she would be wrong about that. She unlocked the door and was already halfway in when she realized that the metal wasn't on her desk where she had left it. Cursing the irony of life, she searched around the lab. It couldn't have been stolen, the door was locked, and she would have noticed if the door had been tampered with. It must just have fallen off the desk or something. So focused on the search was she that she didn't even notice the giant holes in many of the pieces of technology or the very large, shiny blob inching closer to her.

She had crawled under her desk. After riffling through the various papers and boxes that hid the floor, she decided that is must have rolled off somewhere else. Getting up, she banged her head on the underside of the desk, very hard.

Cursing in every language she knew (all of which came out sounding like English to her), she slowly turned around, nursing a very large bruise on the top of the head.

Later she would swear that bump on her head caused her to become dizzy and pass out. She would never do something as pansyish as faint.

She turned around and found out where the metal had gone. It was so much bigger now, at least ten times its original size, and it certainly wasn't in the same ball shape she had left it in. Worst of all, it was slowly slinking closer and closer to her. Before it had reached her, she fainted.

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Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	11. Chapter 10

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 10: And the award for the dumbest idea that actually worked goes to Frank who decided he could make all the evil aliens stop trying to take over the world by making everyone hold hands and sing "Kum Ba Yah."

(I hope you appreciate this chapter. It was written mostly during my physics lecture. Points to everyone who reviewed, and double points to yamiangie who wrote my 100th review for this story. Look, I know the doctor has been unconscious for quite a while. I did that on purpose. I wanted him to be out of the way for a while so the SGC could stumble through a few of the mysteries without him. Instant translation, strange blue boxes, sentient metal, blue Jell-O, and rubber ducks. The doctor knows al the answers. I wanted to keep the SGC in the dark for a while, just to see how they would react. The doctor will wake up now.)

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The doctor awoke, even crankier then he had been before. Getting zapped that many times would make anyone cranky.

The infirmary was almost empty. The other patient who had been there before must have been discharged or moved into another room. All the other beds were empty. He saw the doctor at a desk in the corner and two guards at the door, both armed with the same type of weapon that knocked him out earlier.

Frasier, he could make out her name from the plate on her desk, was engrossed in several papers and charts that littered her desk. No doubt they were about him. As far as he could tell neither Frasier or Tweedledee and Tweddledum (the guards in case you can't tell) had noticed his return to consciousness.

Let's compare this world and his own world. The time period appears similar to the 19th– 20th century change over from his world. He is on a military base, so war exists here, how disappointing. Everyone so far has spoken in English. (Even though the Tardis could translate everything into Gallifrayen for him, he chose a long time ago to learn several languages. The Tardis knew that and did not translate the languages he knew fluently.) They even have American accents for the most part. This did not necessarily mean that he is in America or that America even exists here, but it is a good start. Whoever these people are, they know about aliens. He had seen one, some dark skinned fellow with a gold tattoo. He liked the look, but didn't recognize it. Perhaps his species had not evolved in his world.

Perhaps the strangest thing about this world is the time vortex. He could hear the Tardis. She is alive and well, though very concerned about his health. The time vortex was still here, but that must mean the Time lords had not all died in this universe. If that were so, they would have sensed him entering this world and met him at his entrance.

Regardless of the apparent differences, he doubted that the humans here were much of an improvement from the humans back home. After all, they had stolen from him and had shot him with a strange zappy thingy. He really wanted to get his hands on one of them. The mechanics of the weapon looked similar to several devices he had seen before, but these looked more interesting.

He noticed that his arms and legs were tied to the bed. Apparently his earlier behavior had scared them. He also noticed that one of his legs was broken. He wondered when that happened. He didn't remember it being broken earlier when he was aboard the Tardis or when he was… persuading this doctor to return his things, but then again, he had been running off of rage and adrenaline for the past few hours, there was a good chance he could have missed a few injuries. At least everything seemed to be healing, though it would be nice if he could convince them to remove the straps, they were not very comfortable.

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He isn't human, he isn't reeto, he isn't jaffa, he isn't goa'uld, and he isn't anything else she had ever encountered before. On the outside he could pass for human, and many of his organs seemed at least partially similar to humans, but she could tell there were many differences. The most notable difference was his two hearts. Janet wondered if they should contact the Tok'ra or the Asgard, perhaps they would know who he is.

Whoever he was, he was suffering from massive internal damage and several broken bones. The damage was repairing itself at an almost alarming rate. This would not be a problem, except for the fact that his bones were healing crookedly. She needed to reset the bones before they healed together wrong, potentially crippling him.

She glanced over at him, he was awake.

She caught the eye of one of the guards standing by the door. With a quick nod, she got his attention and signaled for him to follow her. Just to be safe, he drew his zat gun.

"Well I see you're up. My name is Doctor Frasier."

"Very pleased to meet you Doctor Frasier." His change in attitude startled Janet. Before, he had been very hostile to the point of being almost terrifying, now he was calm and collected, as if he had not threatened her earlier. He smiled up at her, and she had to admit that he seemed rather charming. You just have to love a man with an accent. "Can you tell me where I am?"

She paused a second before answering, but she decided there was no harm in letting him know, "You are on a planet called Earth…"

"Oh good, nice to know that didn't change. What country? Is this America?"

This also startled Frasier. Most alien visitors the SGC entertains have very little knowledge of their planet. Very few have actually called it Earth, and none that she could remember had actually referred to a specific country on Earth. "Why, yes. This is a military base, called the SGC. It is located in a mountain in Colorado."

"Ah, Colorado. It has been a while since I had the chance to visit."

And he manages to surprise her yet again, "You have been here before?"

"Of course, many times. How's the weather? Is it winter? Colorado springs December of 09, now that was a nice trip."

"09? You mean 1909?"

"No, 2409." He was always surprised how well he could remember that trip. It was one of the many trips Rose, Jack and he took in his previous incarnation. Jack had taught them how to snowboard, and he taught them the rules to snowblazt, a game very popular in that time. Midway through his trip along memory lane, he realized he should stop talking. Best try to divert attention away from himself.

"SGC, haven't heard of that one before. What does it stand for?"

Janet wasn't so easily distracted. Her head tilted a little while she digested this new knowledge. When she spoke her words came out no louder than a whisper, "Who are you?"

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Many songs were song, many drinks drunk and a good time was had by all. Unfortunately, the good times had to come to an end, and Rose realized she had to leave the bar. Somehow she had managed to spend an entire night there without realizing it. The rain had finally stopped around sunrise, and the roads were now soaked, but at least it was better than the torrents of rain from the night before. Tim came up to her and told her it had cleared up. She checked her watch and realized just how late it was. It was already 7:32. They will be expecting her in less than a half hour. She didn't dare miss the meeting, especially since she now had a little more insight into the nature of their most recent discovery. This meant she had no time to return home and shower and change. She did not even have enough time to take her bags home. She asked Tim if he would watch her bags until she could retrieve them after work, he readily agreed, because that meant she would have to return, and she had become a big hit at the bar.

She took a few minutes to freshen up in the bathroom. She washed her face, combed out her hair with her fingers, tried her best to remove a stain from her blouse, brushed some blue Jell-O powder off her pants, and declared herself passable. She wouldn't win any beauty contests today, but at least she had not drunk any alcohol last night so she didn't feel hung over today. Actually, she felt great. Even though she had not slept at all last night, she did not feel tired at all. If anything, she felt full of energy. She decided that something very strange was going on at this bar, not necessarily something sinister, but perhaps she should investigate some more. If she played her cards right, she could even write off all the drinks she had as a business expense.

She said goodbye to her new friends, many of whom were also leaving to go to their families/friends/jobs/schools, and ran off to catch the nearest bus.

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"I'm the Doctor."

Was this man also suffering from delusions as well? "No, I am the doctor. What is your name?"

"No, that is what they call me, the Doctor."

Perhaps not. "Doctor who?"

"Precisely."

Than again, maybe he just likes to be irritating. "So, what am I supposed to call you? The Doctor?"

"Or just Doctor, whichever you prefer."

Janet turned to the soldier who was still standing behind her, "Go tell General Hammond that our guest, Doctor, has woken up."

He nodded and went out the door.

"So, now that you now who I am, I'll just be on my way to my ship if you don't mind."

He started to get up, but Janet stopped him, "I do mind. Your injuries are still pretty severe, and I need to reset some of your bones. I would have rather done so when you were unconscious, but I guess I have no choice but to do it now. I can give you some painkillers if you…"

"NO!" His response was very definite and very loud.

"I can assure you that…"

"No, human medication has a very negative effect on my body. It can affect my healing abilities and should I need to regenerate… let's just say I would rather not try to deal with those complications again."

Regeneration? She would ask later. First things first, she dialed up the number for the nurses breakroom. She needed a few of them to help her. Those bones needed to be reset quickly or she would need to rebreak them for them to heal straight, something she would rather not do.

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"General."

Hammond looked up to see one of the new recruits, more specifically one of the ones he had assigned to guard Janet. What was his name? Mencia? "At ease. Has there been any change in our guest's condition?"

"As a matter of fact, there has General. He is awake, and awake enough to answer questions. So far we have found that he calls himself 'The Doctor.' Dr. Frasier has asked for me to get you."

"Very good, airman. Tell Frasier that I will be there…"

"Warning, Emergency on level 12! Warning, Emergency on level 12!"

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	12. Chapter 11

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 11: Why are all the locals singing "Tequila?"

(I know several people have reviewed and have begged for a new chapter. I really appreciate the reviews, and I am flattered to have fans. Actually, having fans is a really amazing feeling, so it makes me feel like a really bad person when I realize that it has been months since I last updated. I just really haven't had the energy to even try. College is seriously trying to kill me, and now I am moving without the support of any of my family (they think I am moving for the wrong reason or something, I am not really sure). But, here is some good news, exams are over, so I no longer have to stare at my Chemistry book for hours trying to learn all the mechanisms to every single reaction or whatever I was supposed to learn in that class. I would also like to take this moment to let everyone know that I swear that nothing short of my own death will stop me from finishing this fanfic. It might take a couple of years at the rate I am currently going, but I will leave you with an ending, eventually. I love you all.)

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Meetings at Torchwood were relatively informal. The staff consisted largely of eccentric scientist, many of whom could be fit into the "absent-minded professor" stereotype. We have all seen one movie or another with one of them present. They know how to make a particle accelerator with paper clips, but they can not remember their own birthdays, much less when a meeting is scheduled, even if it scheduled for the same day and time every week. The ones that would remember to show up at all usually showed up late. Rose found herself slightly out of place, because she showed up on time almost every week. Her training from previous jobs ingrained that in her. They of course would not fire her for being late to the meetings, she was far too valuable for that, but old habits die hard.

Five minutes before the meeting began, Rose was in her seat, a little raggedy but presentable. Mister smelly coworker was ogling her, apparently a night on the town did nothing to spool her good looks. He winked and waved and gestured to her, trying to get her attention. Rose just ignored it; she was feeling very Zen today. Not even his blatant ogling of her brought down her mood.

Twenty minutes later, enough of the personnel showed up for them to try to start the meeting. Some of those who could not show up in person had screens placed by their seats so they could join in via live video feed.

"Okay, let's start this meeting reviewing all items collected in the past week. First, we have a metallic tablet, definitely alien in origin but with symbols pressed onto it that resemble ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. Anyone have something to add?"

A few of the scientists commented on discoveries they had made in the past week. Metal consistencies, electric conductivity tests, reaction to exposure to sunlight/ water/ olive oil /blue Jell-O /radiation, density, magnetic field resonance frequencies, and other scientific data were presented along with analysis of the glyphs. The translation team declared they had made very little headway with translating the device. In conclusion, they still did not now its exact purpose or why its language closely resembled an Earth one. Not a very surprising analysis, considering an almost identical item was found in a kid's sandbox a few months ago and was met with the same conclusion.

"On to the second and last item on the list: the mirror that was found hidden in the library wall. Any thoughts?"

Rose stood up, "It is missing a remote."

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"This will hurt. Are you sure there is nothing I can give you?"

"I am sure. Last time a doctor sedated me…" His mind wandered back to that time. If… no when he got back to his own universe, he should try to look her up, see how she was doing, see how she was doing with her entire perception of the universe shattered.

Janet noticed he was off his is own world again, now was as good as ever. If she could reset his leg while he was deep in his own thoughts, the pain might not fully register. It would still hurt like hell, but he might miss the initial agony. She nodded to the soldiers standing on either side of the bed and mouthed the words "one, two, three." On the silent three, one grabbed the Doctor's torso, and the other grabbed his leg. The Doctor barely had time to stutter out an incoherent protest before they pulled his leg back in place.

A short pause, no reaction. Perhaps his race does not feel pain. He blinked, then closed his eyes and let out a very long groan, so much for his race not feeling pain. For a second, Frasier thought he may have fainted, but he turned his head to face her, wincing a little bit. "Now that wasn't fair. You could have given some warning, call it a professional courtesy."

"We could have knocked you unconscious again." Tweedledee only got a glare in exchange for his comment.

"I think I have been out for long enough. Now, I think it is time that I was on my way. If you would kindly show me the way to my spaceship, I'll just…" He tried to get up, but the straps held him down.

"You aren't leaving until we get some answers. The general…"

"Warning, Emergency on level 12! Warning, Emergency on level 12!"

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….about ten minutes ago...

The strange lump of metal had squirmed, rolled and slithered its way out of the labs into the outside corridor. It rolled from one end to the other, zig-zagging all along the way, as if it were looking for something.

Something was turning the corner. The metal stopped in the middle of the walkway.

Lacey and Ryan Bronsted both joined the airforce right out of high school. Through hard work and determination they managed to stay together throughout their careers and even managed to get stationed at the SGC together. Perhaps in a few months they could be paired off in on of the teams. Both of them had been offered spots on teams before, but they refused to join until they could be on the same one. The team leaders did not like the idea, putting siblings together might compromise their decision making if something were to happen, but everyone had to agree that they made an incredible duo. But these two are not very important to the story. They are important only because they were the two hapless soldiers to walk down the corridor with our strange metal.

"So, I was thinking that we could zat the box a few times, then drop it into a bucket of paint."

"And how would that open Murphy?"

"Your right, it should be bleach. That should do it."

"I think you should have taken a few more science classes in high school, instead of taking up all your time taking pictures of hot girls."

"It was a photography class, Lace! Like you were much better. What was that class you took again? Dance appreciation? Like that prepared you for the future."

"That was a required class!"

"It also did hurt that the teacher… What is that?"

"What is what?" Lacey turned to where her brother was pointing. A strangely shaped lump of metal about the size of a child's head lay in the middle of the hallway. "It must be some experiment one of the egghead's is working on. We should probably take it back." She walked over to pick it up.

Ryan took a step and stopped. Something about this didn't feel right. All the scientists could be scatter-brained at times, but none of them would leave one of their experiments lying in the middle of a hallway. "Perhaps we should get someone first."

"Don't be silly we just need…," she reached over to pick it up, but it moved before she could touch it. "What the Hell?" She reached for it again, and it moved out of her reach. She inched closer to a third time.

"Lace, leave it alone. We will go get someone. Call for backup."

Lacey ignored him and moved to pick it up, but it rolled away from her. For a few seconds it continued to roll away from her and then it stopped. Ryan noticed he was holding his breath. Something was definitely not right about this. He reached for his gun.

The metal was rocking back and forth in place, like it didn't know quite what it wanted to do. It apparently made up its mind. It launched itself at Lacey, somehow propelling itself into the air. It knocked her in the head, very hard. She barely had the time to realize it was moving to her before she lost consciousness. The metal landed on her other side and rolled closer to Ryan.

Ryan moved backwards, edging away from the metal. He shot three bullets, all of which hit the metal and stayed stuck in the metal. The bullets didn't phase it, and it kept slinking closer to him. He tossed the gun aside and drew his zat gun. He zatted the metal once, and it kept moving closer to him. A couple more zat blasts later, and it was now within a five feet of him. Instead of slowing it down, the zat blasts seemed to have charged the metal up. Electricity crackled along the outside of the metal. Ryan had just enough time to set off the alarm before the metal sent some of that energy his way, electrocuting him.

With both soldiers incapacitated, the metal proceeded in absorbing the metal from them, starting with the zat gun.

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	13. Chapter 12

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 12: Okay, I understand that these people are descendents of the Mayans. They were brought to this planet by aliens millennia ago. So, how is it that they all can speak fluent English?

(I would like to take this time to address a review submitted by Ithilien. I am not trying to be mean or slam a reviewer, because all reviews are wonderful, regardless of what is written in them…well, almost regardless. Ithilien mentioned a flaw in the whole traveling through to other dimensions that my story involves. Apparently the Time Lords only exist in the world that Rose is from, and it exists outside of time, so when it was destroyed, it was erased from history. I did not know this fact. I have only gotten the chance to watch the two seasons with Rose in them, the very first episode and a random episode involving the fourth doctor. Also, I have only read about four of the books, so my knowledge about the world of Doctor Who is somewhat limited. I found it amazing in itself that I managed to put his correct body temperature in the story. I am sorry for any inconsistencies in my story that don't follow the canon, but I can't exactly change it now, so be warned… Thank you for pointing that out btw, I hope you like the story regardless.)

(Also, I stole a small line or two from Ms. Henderson Presents. It is pretty small and not completely intentional, so I don't know how many people would notice, but I felt like I must report it anyway. For those who have yet to see it, it is a very good movie. I would recommend it.)

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If it weren't for her travels with the Doctor, they would have laughed Rose out of the building. Instead a pregnant pause reigned.

"A remote? Like a TV remote? You do realize that this is a mirror?"

"I don't know how I know, but I know it is missing its remote. I think we should go back to the library where it was found and look for it."

The scientists gave each other uncomfortable glances. Rose was usually right; Hell, she was always right, but Torchwood's budget did not allow for many trips. Most of the money had to be spent on security, acquiring artifacts, and medical treatment (warning: working for Torchwood can be hazardous to your health). At the end of the day, there was just enough for all the experiments the scientists wanted to perform and for the one day a week that Torchwood bought everyone lunch. If they agreed to this trip, they would have to cut the budget in other places (which no one wanted, they liked their free lunch), or they would have to ask for more funds (which usually involved some sort of boring party/fundraiser that was equally distasteful to the antisocial scientists of Torchwood).

"Okay, we will take a vote. Who here thinks we should take a trip to… Where was this mirror found?" She shuffled through a few papers. "Finland. Okay, all in favor to a visit to the Ilkeä Susi Library in Finland, raise your hands."

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The Doctor itched to join the ruckus. Alarms going off, people rushing past, a general sense of panic, this was the life for him, and yet he was still tied down to the hospital bed. The good doctor Frasier apparently didn't see it fit for her to undo the restraints before she ran out with Tweedledum. He was now left in the room with Tweedledee and a very comely blonde nurse whose name he had yet to discover.

Convincing Tweedledee that he should release him would definitely not work, but perhaps Ms. Nurse will listen to reason. Perhaps he should try to chat her up a bit.

"So, do you tie men to beds often, or am I just special?"

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Eight soldiers formed a blockade on level 12. The moving metal stood only a dozen feet away. Those who had seen it before could tell that it had grown at least three times its original size. Electricity still sparked along its outside.

It seemed to ignore them for the most part. It rolled one way, then the other. It came toward them at an agonizingly slow pace.

Their orders were to try to rescue the two soldiers that had fallen. From the best they could tell, they were still alive. Frasier was stationed behind the blockade with a couple other emergency medics. Two soldiers crawled very slowly to where the two lay. They had to pass by the moving metal on their way to the soldiers.

Four feet away from the metal, the soldiers noticed a distinct change in its behavior, it movements became faster and more erratic.

Two feet away, and the sparks along the side flashed bigger and brighter.

The soldiers tried to move along the wall farthest from the metal and tried to attract as little attention to themselves as possible. Their efforts to remain unnoticed did not succeed. They were almost close enough to touch their fallen comrades, when within seconds the metal had moved from where it had been absorbing the metal from an alarm to where it was inches away from them. They didn't dare move; they didn't dare breathe. The blockade soldiers held their fire; they couldn't afford any friendly shots to hit their men. It changed its shape until it was a tall, thin blob, almost as tall as the two soldiers. The metal inspected them for a few minutes, and then slinked away. The soldiers let out their breath in a very loud puff.

The metal reformed into a ball a few feet away and zapped them. The blockade soldiers fired at the metal. Ten seconds later, it was all over. All the soldiers and doctors were unconscious with the metal nearby, absorbing all the metal they had brought with them.

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Five minutes later and Pam determined she liked the stranger. The "Doctor" was trying unsuccessfully to hit on her, and his motives were painfully obvious. He wanted to coax her into untying him. He was doing an okay job with the banter, and for some other rooky nurse, it might have worked. Despite his motivation, he was rather charming and oddly sincere. She found herself laughing at his latest attempt at flattery.

"You might as well same your breath. I'm not interested."

The Doctor looked hurt, "Not dashing enough for you? Probably would have worked if I were ginger."

He did look cute when he pouted. "No, don't take it personally. I'm…," she looked over to Boone (the soldier dubbed Tweedledee by the Doctor). He didn't look like he was listening in to their conversation, but it wasn't a very big room, he could still hear everything they had said. She leaned in a little closer and whispered, "Let's just say, my interests lie elsewhere."

"Oh," his eyes widen a little with realization, "Ohhhhh, how fantastic!"

Pam was a little taken aback that he didn't seem to mind, even though he had spent the past five minutes hitting on her.

Of course, Boone had heard what she had said. He was disappointed that this meant he had no chance with her, but he wasn't one to condemn someone based on their love life. By tomorrow almost everyone on the base would know she was a lesbian, but no one would "know." Meaning, everyone would know the truth but would deny such knowledge if ever the situation ever came up that it would hurt her career if a superior got word of it. The SGC could be compared to a mob family; they protected their own. Take for example O'Neill and Carter. If they ever realized that their feelings were mutual and they got into a relationship, everyone in the base would know, but they would protect their secret, despite the regulations against it. Besides, now he could try to hook Carthy up with his sister. She would make a very pretty sister-in-law, and it would certainly make his sister happy.

"So, I guess it wouldn't help if I were ginger."

"Nope. I like blondes better anyway."

A picture of Rose's bleached blonde head flashed in his mind, "Same here. Any blonde in particular?"

She blushed just the slightest bit, "I have had a crush on Captain Carter ever since I joined the SGC."

"Captain Carter?"

"She is the only female member on SG-1, our flagship team. They are living legends around here. They have saved the world over a dozen times. They almost weekly save another planet from the Goa'uld. She is just so smart, so brave. She will just run into danger, forgetting that each time she does so she might not make it out."

How many times had Rose and he run into danger, not knowing what they were going to face? Rose was always there. Whenever an alarm sounded, she was right by his side, forgetting that each adventure could lead to her end.

"Unfortunately, it is painfully obvious that she is completely in love with O'Neill."

"Who's O'Neill?"

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Some held back for a second, and some whispered hushed conversations to each other, but they all slowly raised their hands, including those joining in by video feed.

"So I guess it is agreed. I will ask for the opinion of those who could not make it to the meeting today, but we already have a majority vote. We will go with Rose's plan. Those who wish to join the expedition should notify me by the end of the day. Pack a few changes of clothes, any supplies you will need besides food, and show up at 0700 tomorrow morning. Those who are late will be left behind and will have to find their own transportation. Meeting adjourned."

Rose moved to leave but was hounded by a thousand questions, most of which she could not answer. Perhaps it would be prudent for her to slip out of work early, go back to the bar where she might be able to come up with some answers for them.

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As Carthy and the Doctor were getting buddy-buddy, Boone was monitoring the situation on his radio. It didn't sound good. The alien object had taken out over a dozen personnel, including Doctor Frasier.

"I can help."

He turned to the Doctor. His expression had changed. He was serious.

Boone believed him, but he couldn't just let the man go. His dilemma was removed when Pam began to remove his straps.

"What are you doing? We can't let him go; Hammond would have our heads."

With his arms free, the Doctor began to free his legs, "Well then, you can join me. Guard me or whatever, but right now, people are being hurt, and I intend on putting a stop to it."

The Doctor leaped off the bed and put on his coat. "Okay, where are my things?" Pam handed him the tray that held most of his possessions. He began to put all the items into his pockets. The bunny plushy, the blue Jell-O mix, the jelly beans, and all the other items went into the various pockets of his jacket. He left the three rubber ducks out on the desk and padded down his pockets like he was checking to make sure everything was in place. "Right, now where is my sonic screwdriver?"

"Your what?"

"Sonic screwdriver. About this big. Lots of buttons. Makes a whirring noise." He mimed its description as he spoke.

"How can a screwdriver be sonic?"

"Now is not the time."

Pam had not been in the room at first when all the items had been examined but Boone had. "Captain Carter took it. We weren't familiar with its technology, so she was going to examine it. I assume she took it to her lab. Also, Daniel Jackson took a book you had."

"Good, I wouldn't want to loose that either. I have been meaning to read that." He picked up the three rubber ducks, "Do you know the way to her lab?" Boone nodded. "Good," he tossed one of the rubber ducks to each of them, "Now put these on. We need to get there and fast."

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	14. Chapter 13

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 13: Ok, remember that guy… you know, the one that was worshipping the vending machine? Yeah, we've got a problem. No, no. He is still here. He is fine…. Insane, but fine. No, that's not it either. Well, he has followers now. Yeah. A lot of them. Half of the base has been converted. Told you we should have done something about that.

(Okay, I think we have established that I am a terrible person. Five months… or is it six now, and no update. I even wrote a oneshot for something else before I finished this chapter. Really sorry. I love you all! If it weren't for you, well, there would be no point for me to write this story. Hurray for over 200 reviews! This chapter was a bit rushed, but hopefully just as good. I would like you guys to check out my other story Because, It Would Be More Interesting. It is in the Harry Potter section if you are interested. Points for those who read and review! It has one good review already!)

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Tweedledee and Hot Nurse blinked once, twice, three times in unison. If one didn't know better, one would think they had practiced this maneuver.

"We are in the middle of a crisis, and you want us to take a bath!"

Tweedledee was less dismissive towards the ducks, but he couldn't see the point of them. A quick inspection revealed no buttons or pull tabs or markings or instructions or anything to suggest that this was not an ordinary rubber duck. It did have a tiny sailor hat on its head, but that was firmly attached. He tossed it up in the air and caught it a few times. On his fourth or fifth toss, the Doctor caught it midair. He was quick for someone so injured.

"Be careful with that. That one was Ro…" His words trailed off as memories of the last times he used those duck assailed him. Spring, the year was (or will be rather) 78 – Mushroom – 8B. Jack and he had decided that it was time for a little training. Rose took it as an insult to her physical prowess, but nothing could be further from the truth. She had impressed both of them with both her skills and her willingness to jump into danger. They knew that a day would come when she would follow them into a situation that she could not handle. Training would give her the edge to make sure that day would come later, hopefully much later. Plans didn't pan out so well, and it ended up with them fleeing a bunch of rabid fans (literally rabid, foaming at the mouth and everything).

Boone and Pam saw his face droop and his shoulders sag. His eyes darkened and the glimmer left. Seconds later, sparkle returned and his stance was once more confident and excited. The quick mood change made them both wonder if they had imagined it all. A look exchanged between the two of them confirmed that what they saw was real. The look was either not noticed or ignored by the Doctor, for he began to explain the purpose of the ducks with all the excitement of a 5-year-old boy with a new toy.

"These are not just any old ordinary rubber ducks. These are Yemen battle suits, rubbery duck form."

The nurse looked at her duck and then down at her figure. She had a nice body. Toned and thin with the right amount of curves, the exact body type that drives thousands of teenage girls to anorexia, but no matter how thin she got, there is no way that this rubber duck could cover enough of her body to serve as a battle suit.

"I think it is best if you just lie back down, Doctor. I think you are suffering from some sort of delusion. If you will…"

"I haven't gotten to the best part! Delusions she says." A small bit of muttering about nurses followed. He held out his duck for the other two to see. "Watch." He turned it so that they could see the ducks back. Upon closer inspection a small slit was barely visible, situated between the two wings. He took the two slits and pried them farther apart. The duck stretched. The Doctor continued to stretch out the duck until he could stretch his arms out any wider. He then bent over, wincing as a few things crinked and popped as he did so. He placed one foot in the stretched out rubber, then the other and pulled it up until it sat on his waist.

"Very cool!" Boone signed up for the SGC for exactly this reason. Who wouldn't want to be part of a sci-fi drama? Think of all the cool toys, and this way as cool as it came, even if it was yellow.

The Doctor smiled at him, "It gets even better." He pulled up the suit so he could push his arm though. His arm fit through and the suit molded to form a second skin on it. Boone and Pam watched as his arm began to stretch out farther, and farther, and even farther, until it touched the opposite wall, at least a twenty foot distance. "Dead useful in a pinch, but enough of that. Hurry up. Much to do, military base to save and all."

Boone quickly began to put his own on while the Doctor pilled all the rest of his items back in the many pockets of his coats. "How do we control the stretching?"

"It responds to your thoughts. Rather ingenious. The man who invented it was quite mad though. Seemed to think that humans were duck-shaped. Good think he made them stretchy."

Pam hadn't move to put hers on yet, "I don't think this is a good idea. I am all for any help you can provide, but you are in no condition to run into battle, even with a rubber duck suit."

"That is why you are coming along too. I have my own personal body guard and nurse. I couldn't be in any better hands." His smile partially charmed her over, and the alarms did the rest. The problem wasn't resolved yet, so whatever was happening was much more serious than she had previously thought. She didn't know what it was about this man, but she instinctively knew that he could solve the problem. However, as soon as this was over, she was dragging him back here and tying him to that bed. That almost sounded kinky. She wondered if she would ever get the chance to tie Carter to a bed… for purely medical reasons, of course…

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Rose was almost giddy with excitement. Exiting the building had been extremely difficult today. Every scientist in the building wanted to know why she had thought of a remote. They assumed she had seen something like the mirror before and thus quizzed her on every single mirror she had ever seen, starting with the pretty princess makeup mirror she got for her third birthday. She finally lost her temper with them (she was impressed that she had kept it so long with all of their harassment). When they had back off (very quickly I might add), the accountants took their spot to inquire why she thought this trip was necessary.

A very exhausting day followed as she had to convince 27 people from 7 different departments that, even though she didn't know the reason, this trip was necessary. Schedules and duty rosters filled the rest of the day. Since she suggested it, the higher-ups decided she should figure out who should go, what their tasks should be, where they should stay, and a thousand other details that Rose was much too frustrated by then to deal with. But deal with it she did, and in a matter of hours a three day trip was planned. Tomorrow they would leave and then the real work would begin. Accounting limited the time they had to only three days. If they didn't find anything after that, they would leave, no arguments allowed.

With a huge headache and no doubt the beginnings of a stress induced heart attack, Rose all but ran out of Torchwood.

Quick call to mom and she was on her way back to her favorite bar. She made sure to remember exactly where it was. She somehow forgot to ask what the name of the bar was, so if she couldn't remember where in the city it was, who knows how long it would take her to find it again.

Waiting for the bus, she reflected on her strange attraction to this bar. Why was she so excited to get back? She could almost compare herself to a drug addict jonzin' for a fix. It was more than that though. She felt safe there. The whole building just seemed to breathe sighs of contentment. She thought clearer there. Just like the Tardis. A sad smile reached her lips.

The bus arrived with a small splash. She avoided getting her shoes wet. She climbed on board to be greeted by one of the friends she had met yesterday, Mary Jane Sue. Quick hugs followed, and Rose took a seat by her.

"Going back to the bar, I see."

"Couldn't stay away. There is just something about it. How long have you been going there?"

Mary Jane Sue thought about it for a little while, "Wow, I guess it has been over two years now. Hard to think that much time has passed."

"Is it always like it was last night?"

She gave Rose a secret smile, "Always, but I must say, last night was especially grand. I think you really livened the place up even more, if that is possible."

Rose chuckled a bit. "How did you first find it?"

Mary Jane Sue launched into full-out story mode. "Two years ago, nothing was going my way. I was failing half of my college classes. My stepmom convinced my dad I didn't deserve any more of his hard earned money. Not exactly sure she managed that, she is a complete drunk. Don't see why my dad stays with her. Anyway, to top off the day, my boyfriend of six months decided it was time we should break up. He said that it was because we were too different, but I know it is because I didn't 'put out.' I had had it.

"I don't know exactly what I was planning on doing. Convinced that a brighter future lay on the other side of the ocean, I spent the last bit of my money on a boat ticket here. Getting off the boat, I realized I was screwed. No money, no job, and no place to stay. I wandered the streets for hours, until I saw Tim. He invited me in and gave me a drink on the house. I spent the night there, and the next day, things didn't seem so bad. I got a wonderful job not too far from here, working in a shop. I've been going to Schlechter Wolf ever since."

"So that is what the bar is called. Never thought to ask. What does 'schlechter' mean?"

"Oh, Tim says it's German. I think he said it meant 'bad.' Bad Wolf."

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She really should look into rethinking her life. A new career was really in her best interest. She never thought that the job was so bad. She didn't handle stress very well. It was her dad's idea to go into the military anyway. "It will pay for college. You will get into good shape. Blady, blady, blah." He had enough money to put her through school, and she hadn't been in bad shape to begin with. She loved the idea of science and aliens. Her dream job would be right here in the SGC, just in a different department. She would never run away from a fight, but the moment the order for a retreat came, she got out of there and fast. Next time she saw Hammond (if she lived that long), she was going to demand a transfer. She could deal with a lot of things, but she today she had been beaten up by a flying hunk of metal.

That's right, you heard me. Flying metal. After the soldiers in the front line had fallen, a second wave, which she was part of, tried to get at their comrades. Bullets didn't stop it and zatting it only powered it up. After the fifteen zat blast or so, the moving metal blob, began to crack with electric power. It used that power to charge the air and somehow lift itself up, so now it was floating. Very cool. Scary, but cool. She would have loved to study the mechanics of how this was possible, but instead, the metal launched itself at her head, knocking her to the floor and putting her in her current state of barely consciousness. Not able to get up, but still able to access how crazy the life of an "ordinary" girl can get. Oh look, the cavalry has arrived. SG-1 is there, riding horses. Hmm, that last part doesn't seem right. Concussions are fun. She is now seeing stuff. Oh look, pretty stars. Time for bed. Pass out.

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The members of SG-1 stopped at the end of the hall that housed the current danger.

That ball of metal was going down.

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Three shapes moved down the hall. The sight would have attracted the attention of all around, if there was anyone in the hall to see it.

All three shapes were bright yellow. If that weren't enough, they were also duck shaped.

Three people moved down the hall in skin tight duck suits, complete with wings on their backs that would flutter every so often.

That's a new one for the books of the SGC.

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Rose and Mary Jane Sue walked into a bar… to be met with a giant blue Jell-O mold shaped like Michelangelo's David.

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	15. Chapter 14

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 14: Oh, didn't you hear? The reason why nothing has been happening lately is because Main-Evil-Dude sent all his soldiers to training camp. They have terrible aim. We took out an entire squadron without a single casualty on our side. Guess what they are going to use as target dummies. Those with the lowest shooting score.

(Why, lookie here. A fanfiction. What is it doing here? Hmm, not bad, a little amateur, but not bad at all. Who wrote this? Whoever it is, they have been neglecting it. Look how long it has been since they last updated it. I would never do such a thing. You there, who wrote this story? I did!? No way would I forget about a story for that long. Just look here, I am currently writing a story which I know I recently updated. As a matter of fact, my story seems very similar to this one. Very similar indeed…. This is my story… isn't it? Oops… I really should remember to write more. Btw, italics mean thoughts. Oh, and why didn't anyone point out that Nurse Pam was originally a brunette. I fixed that and a few other things in some of the earlier chapters, so check them out. It is kind of late right now, but hopefully most of what I wrote makes sense. Thanks everyone for your reviews. I love you all. Notice: Now hiring a beta. Will pay in internet chocolate-chip cookies.)

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The Doctor, Tweedledee, and Hot-blonde-nurse practically flew down the corridors. They made incredible time down the halls of the SGC, the suits giving them both extraordinary speed and agility. They moved along their way surprisingly unnoticed and unhindered, quite a feat considering they were bright-as-Hell yellow.

Boone took the lead with Pam and the Doctor following close behind. They stayed in the middle of the way, throwing caution to the wind. They had neither the time nor the patience to check around every corner before proceeding. Besides, the Doctor assured them that the suits could hold up to incredible amounts of damage without injuring the inhabitant; they could definitely stand up to a weapon as mundane as a gun. They wouldn't even feel the impact.

Carter's lab was a few levels up; they would need to take the stairs. The elevators would be risky right now. Who knew how serious things could get; the invader might damage the system, trapping them inside. They were moving much faster than the elevator anyway. They could take the stairs in no time.

The Doctor urged for them to move faster. He could feel his injuries catching up to him. His will, the suit and little else was keeping him together right now. The battle suits were marvelous though. Their creator had the foresight to see that not all the soldiers would be in top physical condition. They may have injuries or deformities keeping them from operating at their best. It energized the wearer and 

compensated for favored limbs, but it could only do so much. His body was spending so much of its energy that he didn't have enough left to try and fix his internal injuries. The constant running about was causing more damage to his body. If he didn't solve the problem soon enough, he would have no choice but to regenerate again.

He really didn't want to do that; he wouldn't be able to show his face for decades. Besides, if his face changed, Rose might not recognize him this time, and he wouldn't stand for that.

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"Tim, when did you open the bar? Where did this building come from?" A strange choice of words normally, but they hit home.

Time turned to her with clouded eyes, "Strange you should ask that. I have often wondered that myself. I don't really care though. This place is home and haven. It could be a gift from the Devil himself, and it wouldn't make a lick of difference to me. Nothing can take away how amazing this place is." He gently stroked the bar in from of him, in a gentle, almost petting movement.

"But can you tell me how you found this place? Who built it? Who owned it before you?"

Mary Jane Sue joined the party, carrying plates with choice bits from the blue Jell-O David statue, "Yeah, spill Tim. Everyone's curious. Why don't you ever talk about you opening this place?"

He swiveled his chair around, shifted his weight to recline against the bar, his elbows propped up on the counter. "I never talk about it, because the last time I tried, I almost lost the place."

Mary Jane Sue wrinkled her nose, "Oh, is it one of those type of stories? Really Tim, if you did anything illegal to get this place, I swear we won't tell a soul."

He shook his head. "No nothing like that. Not illegal. Well, maybe a bit, but nothing major." He wanted to leave it at that, but the looks of his two female friends clearly indicated he wouldn't get away without spilling all.

"About twelve years ago, I was living the happy married life. Susan was beautiful. Long legs. That was the first thing I noticed about her, she had the most beautiful, long legs. That is how we met. I told her I liked her legs and got a slap and a date out of it.

"Five year of marriage later, and I still liked her legs, all of her really, and she still put up with me telling her that.

"Shortly after our five year anniversary, she got a new job, a transfer to Berlin. I wanted to join her, but my father was ill. He only had a little while left. We decided that she would move with our things, and I would stay with my dad until he… until he passed on.

"At first, it seemed like our love would hold strong, despite the distance, but as the weeks passed, the stress got to us. Her new job put a lot more responsibility on her shoulders, and my dad's illness took a lot out of me. We talked less. When we did talk, our conversations ended in screaming fights. If we had had the patience, we could have made it through all that. I never stopped loving her."

Mary Jane Sue gently set her fork back on her plate, "She had an affair, didn't she?"

He sighed, "No, I did."

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Boone marveled at how great he felt wearing this suit. They looked silly, but they moved like a dream. "_I wonder if we could convince this guy to loan us a few_. Carter's lab is at the end of the hall."

The three took the corner very sharply. The Doctor pulled out of the slide with graceful ease, while Pam and Boone slid into each other.

As they righted themselves, the Doctor was in full search mode, randomly picking up an object, examining it and tossing it aside when it proved not to be what he was looking for.

"This stuff wasn't built by humans."

Boone looked at the Goa'uld zat'ni'katel the Doctor was holding, "No we didn't. Carter is studying these devices in hopes of us recreating some of them. She would love getting her hands on one of these suits."

"That is the problem with humans. All full of curiosity, never knowing when not to poke their noses into things they can't handle. They cause all sorts of messes, not caring who gets to clean it up," the Doctor couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice.

There it is. His screwdriver was lying on a table pressed up against the side wall. The Tardis was only a few feet away on the other side. He walked over and put his hand on her, leaning into her, drawling comfort from her presence. She was irritated at him for further injuring himself. He sent her a promise for a full night's bed rest, once he took care of these clumsy apes' problem.

"Where is the intruder now?"

Boone got a chill from the edge in his companion's voice, "Ten floors down."

"Let's go."

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"I can't even remember the girl's name. It was in a moment of drunken stupidity, but that is no excuse for what I did. I came clean to Susan over the phone. She demanded a divorce. I didn't put up a fight; looking back, I really should have. She mailed my stuff back; she didn't throw them away. A lesser woman would have. I wouldn't've been angry with her if she had.

"My dad died the next week.

"I sat around the house most of the time after that. Occasionally I would take walks in the neighborhood where Susan and I had lived. I would walk past the house we lived in and past the stores, until I reached a certain empty lot.

"The lot had been empty for as long as I could remember. Never had been paved over either. We used to meet up during our lunch hours and have picnics in the grass."

He was drifting off a bit in his memories. A shake of this head brought him back to the point of the story.

"One night the empty lot wasn't so empty. It would have been impossible for them to construct an entire building since my last walk, but there she was. I remember wishing it was a new bar, because I was in bad need of a drink.

"She was a bar, completely furnished and deserted. The lights were on, the tables clean and the bar well stocked, but no one was around. I hung around for hours without anyone showing up.

"I then got the notion that, somehow, this was my bar. That she wanted ME to run it.

"I visited my best friend later that day at his work. I kept telling him about the bar I now owned, but when I brought him to the lot, it was empty again.

"I thought that she too had abandoned me. I started to rave and scream. He thought I was delusional.

"I tried to explain, but he wouldn't believe me. He tried to have me committed. I can't really say I blame him. Magic buildings. Heh, I thought about committing myself, but something told me that what I saw was real. What I felt… so I returned again, alone, to the site, and there she was.

"I opened the bar to the public the next day.

"So, what do you think of me now, a pathetic, delusional cheater?"

The silence held for an uncomfortable minute, then Mary Jane Sue slung her arm over his shoulders, giving him a half hug. "It's been twelve years; I think you can stop beating yourself up over one mistake now."

He turned to Rose who gave him a smile and a nod. All the tension left him.

"But what did you do when the feds started asking about where this place came from?"

"The feds? You mean the governments? They don't know this place exists."

"Um, it is kind of here. Shouldn't they have figured out it exists by now?"

"That's the best part, they don't. I checked the public records. They still have this place filed as an empty lot. I have been serving drinks to interesting people like yourselves for twelve years without papers or taxes. They just walk by here, without ever seeing her."

Rose spoke up, "You keep calling it her."

"Old habit. We old folk are allowed a few peculiarities like that. Besides, she feels like a woman. Has moods like one too."

Mary Jane Sue laughed, "Tim, you are hardly an old folk. How are you now?"

"Fifty-two."

"Fifty-two! You don't look over 30. What's your secret?"

Time patted the counter, "Blame old Wolfie here. She keeps me young. Who thought runnin' a bar would be good for your health?"

Rose perked up on the nickname. "That's another thing. Why did you name it… er her Bad Wolf?"

"I didn't."

"Huh?"

"When I found her, she already had her name. The sign has always been there."

"Hey Rose, why so interested in the name?"

Rose sighed, pushing her plate away, "Those words have followed me across the universe."

"Followed you?"

"Yeah. I just wish I knew why it is showing up now."

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Twenty minutes of fighting and the SCG was still under attack (if you can call absorbing metal an attack) from the metal.

Carter's idea: We need to move the metal away from the wounded soldiers. The FM (Daniel: "FM?" Carter: "Flying Metal.") only absorbs certain types of metals, and it looks like it goes after certain ones first. Maybe each metal serves as different nutrients, and it is attracted to certain ones.

Jack's idea: Maybe some metals just taste better.

Carter's idea continued: So maybe we can lure the FM away from the wounded with rare metals to attract it.

The plan worked. Turns out the FM had a soft spot for Mercury.

Janet could now treat their casualties. Several suffered from electric burns or concussions, but for the most part, they were in decent shape.

In a secluded and well covered area, the SGC continued its siege on the FM. Bullets were no use. One of the soldiers got frustrated and threw his entire gun at it, resulting in the loss of a firearm and little else. Staff blasts were useless. Zats charged it up, resulting in more electric strikes sent back in their direction.

Carter's second idea: It doesn't react too much to the bullets, but whenever we zat it, it send the electricity right back at us. Maybe it can't stand the excess charge. Maybe if we send several zat blasts at it simultaneously, it might cause an internal breakdown.

Jack's idea: Like frying a computer.

Close enough.

They fired six blasts at the metal simultaneously. And the FM sent them all back, frying the lights and leaving the hall in darkness.

Teal'c's idea: We cannot see in darkness, but it does not hinder the FM. We require light.

Several flashlights and glowsticks later, they could see well enough to maneuver the FM into another, well-lit hall.

Daniel's idea: It seems intelligent. It isn't really trying to hurt us; it only really responds when we try to hurt it. Maybe we could try talking to it somehow.

Several machines were brought in and rigged up in that attempt. EM pulses, electric static, radio waves and everything else they could think of later, and the FM either couldn't understand them or was ignoring them. There was now a very large hole in the wall, and the some of the alarm systems were malfunctioning from having large holes eaten through them.

"We're running out of ideas sir."

"Come on Carter. I need something."

"Maybe we could contain it somehow."

"Brilliant." The four members of SG-1 turned toward their new companions. The Doctor, Boone and Pam had shed their suits in the stairwell, and all three duck suits now rested in one of the Doctor's many pockets. "Living metal, cousin twice removed to living plastic. Just brilliant. Been a while since I had seen any. Loners for the most part, but a riot at parties. Usually a bit more agreeable than this. Don't usually go around causing problems, nothing like their cousins."

"Solider, what is this man doing here?"

Boone took O'Neill with a quick salute, "Sorry sir, but he said he could help. Nurse Carthy and I followed him to keep an eye on him." He looked at Pam, hoping for her support, but her closeness to her crush left her wide-eyed and tongue-tied.

O'Neill wasn't having it, "One soldier and one nurse isn't enough to stop… where did he go?"

The Doctor was walking to the FM, which was not about seven feet tall and resembled a blob-man. He surveyed the damage done. "Well, we can't have this now, can we?" He pointed his sonic screwdriver at the blob and pushed a button. A wave of electric energy washed over the FM, stopping it in its tracks. It tried to charge the Doctor, but it hit a barrier and bounced off. It tried several more times, but it couldn't get through. It kept bouncing off the sides of an invisible barrier, looking rather similar to a mime in a box. It also tried to bounce through the top, but was once again stopped. It couldn't get through the floor either.

The others crept up beside the Doctor, being careful not to let their guard down. Sam spoke first, "How did you do that?"

"Simple. Living metal runs on a certain frequency. Set up a field with a frequency exactly opposed to it, and they can't cross. Now that that's settled, why don't we gather around and talk this out like adults?"

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Rose checked the clock hanging on the opposite wall. She wouldn't have time to return home and get what she needed before it was time to meet up back at Torchwood. Luckily her well paid job kept her bank account happily full, and there was a very convenient one-stop-shop just down the street. She ran down to buy a small duffle-bag, toothbrush, toothpaste and other essentials, before rushing back to the bar. Her bags from yesterday were right where she left them. Rifling through them produced enough clothes and underwear for the short trip. As for the rest of the stuff, she gathered it all up in the biggest of the bags and asked Tim if she could convince him to watch over them for a little while longer. He agreed without any hesitation.

Rose slung the strap of her bag over one shoulder and walked to the door, giving heartfelt goodbyes on her way. Mary Jane Sue and Tim met her at the door. Mary gave her a bone-crushing hug. Tim patted her on the back and wished her happy hunting.

Rose turned to face the crowded room all of whom had their eyes trained on her. With emotions stronger than she thought she could feel for almost strangers, she spoke, "I'm off. I'll be back soon. I promise." A sad smile, a quick half-turn step, and Rose was out of the bar.

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	16. Chapter 15

**Wormholes and Loopholes**

By: Gyte-san

Chapter 15: Okay, new rule. No one is allowed to travel through time. Ever. For any reason. I know we have the technology, and it wouldn't cause the universe to cease to exist if we did so. I know we have several events in our history that could have turned out better, but no one is allowed to do it. Because it hurts my brain, that's why. Time paradoxes hurt my head. We already changed history how many times? And it turns out that it was never changed, because we were supposed to change it in the first place, so everything is the same, but it wasn't, so that's why went back in time…. And another thing, how many members of this base are their own grandparent? Twelve…I rest my case.

(Okay, I'm a terrible person. I never meant to leave the story this long, but at least here's another update. You'll forgive me… right? Right? Pleaz? Anyway, thank you everyone who reads, reviews, or adds me to a list. This is almost the conclusion of the FM, but don't worry. It is coming back… eventually. That certainly took long enough. Also, Claire Manson is based off of one of my friends. I hope you all love her as a small, but new addition to my growing cast of overly important minor characters. Enjoy.)

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Jack was standing not three feet away from the FM or living metal as the crazy blue-box alien called it. He had the strangest urge to reach out and poke it. It's the same urge any ten-year-old kid gets when he or she comes across something new or strange. First thing to do is poke it with a stick, at least that way you know whether or not it is alive. But the blue-box alien man (what was his name again?) said it was alive, and its rampage through the halls of the SGC also proved it had some sort of life. So, there was really no reason to poke it, but the urge wasn't going away. Time to distract himself by asking the much needed questions.

"Okay, who are you again? And how do you know what this stuff is? And why would you take it to parties?"

The man ignored him in favour of walking around the living metal that continued to thrash against the sides of its invisible box. He made a complete trip around the metal before speaking. "Hello. I am the Doctor. I'm here to help. Now, I know humans can be annoying and poke their noses into things that they really shouldn't, but that is no reason to eat a hole in their building. It might let a draft in. So, what is this kafuffle all about?"

The metal stopped moving. A long silence continued for a while.

Daniel leaned in a bit closer and cleared his throat, "So, what's it saying?"

The Doctor turned to look at him with a puzzled expression, "He hasn't said anything yet."

The metal apparently took this as its cue to act. It stretched and molded itself into a figure vaguely resembling that of a human. It stood about six feet tall and had no desirable features, but one could almost make out the astonished look on its face. When it spoke, it sounded like the screech of rusted metal and the crackle of electricity somehow formed into human speech. "Time Lord."

"Yes. That's me."

Jack mouthed to his comrades, "Time Lord?" Daniel and Same gave slight shrugs, and Teal'c gave a barely desirable shake of his head. Apparently Jack wasn't the only one who hadn't heard about these new guys.

The metal got to the very edge of its box. It now stood only a few inches away from the Doctor, its face intently trained on the Doctor's. "It is impossible. All the Protectors died. None are left."

The Doctor tilted his head down so one could no longer see his eyes, "Yeah, I know. Same thing happened to my… I'm the last one left."

"Release me." The others in the room moved to protest, but the metal spoke again, "I will cause no more damage to your dwelling."

The Doctor pushed another button on his sonic screwdriver. A small spark traveled over where the invisible boxes walls were, and the metal was now free to move around. The SGC soldiers fingered their weapons, not at all happy with his new turn of events.

"You can all put down your weapons now. Living metal never lies. It won't attack you anymore." This only slightly comforted them, for they didn't know if they could trust this man. Sure, he seemed to have this situation under control, but he could just be trying to lead them into a false sense of security. None of them made any moves toward the metal or made threatening gestures of any kind. They would see how this played out. "Now, since we have all decided to stop attacking each other, why don't we figure out what's wrong?"

The metal moved around the hall, its movements showing a small amount of irritation, "They have stolen from you Time Lord. They have what belongs to you. I can feel it. They steal from the Protectors; they cannot be trusted. They must be destroyed for their crime."

Jack interrupted, not able to keep the annoyance out his voice, "Now, hold on. I am going to ignore how creepy talking metal is right now, but we are going to have a talk about this later. Death is kind of a harsh punishment for stealing, not that we stole anything. I'm pretty sure we don't have this guys stuff. We just met."

Daniel leaned in to talk to Jack in a loud whisper, "Well actually, we do kind of have his… spaceship in Sam's lab right now. And we did kind of take things out of his pockets."

"But we were planning on giving all that back. That's not stealing."

The Doctor followed their conversation with a mild bit of amusement. He shook his head and turned back to the metal. "See. They only had my stuff in storage, which I fully intend on getting back once I have had a decent night's sleep… and fix the dozen or so parts that are broken. Still, no harm, no foul. Problem solved?"

The metal was not yet appeased. "They steal from all. They take from all. They took me; they plan to take more. They travel to distant starts to steal from those who live there."

Daniel butted in this time. "That's not true. Well, we did take you, but we didn't know you were sentient. And the stuff we bring back, we didn't steal. We want to learn about different people, different cultures. We bring artifacts back so we can study them in greater detail."

Sam's turn, "We also want to learn as much as we can about their science. Many of the cultures we encounter are more advanced than us. We sometimes bring items back to figure out how they work, and the science behind them. Their technology can help us learn more about the universe."

Teal'c moved in closer to the metal, "We are also currently in battle with an enemy with greater strength than our own. This enemy seeks to destroy this planet and all its inhabitants. We require the advanced defenses some of these items can provide."

Jack, "And some of them are just too cool to leave sitting there." The room turned to him, and he just shrugged. "What? It's true."

The Doctor gave a small smile, "They aren't thieves. They are just humans, doing what humans do best: getting in over their heads. You can't really blame them; it's basically wired into their brains."

The metal shivered and made a small buzzing sound. The soldiers didn't know what to make of the noise and put their hands back on their guns. The buzzing sound continued for several more seconds before it abruptly stopped, and the metal went still.

"Send me back."

The Doctor nodded, "We'll send you back."

"But," Daniel spoke up, "we would like to learn more about you. We don't often get to meet species so different from our own. I would like to learn more about your culture, your people, your…"

"Send me back home."

Daniel fell silent and nodded.

The metal was escorted by the Doctor and all the SGC soldiers back to the gate room. As they passed the halls, they would occasionally run into more soldiers who they would tell to stand down. They radioed in a message to Hammond to get the gate keyed up to the metals homeworld, giving him a brief description of what was going on.

The gate was already on by the time they got there. The metal moved toward the gate before stopping and re-approaching the Doctor. "Thank you Protector." A piece of its metallic flesh reached out to the Doctor. Its appendage moved over his head and face in an almost caressing movement. Slowly and slightly it withdrew and moved away from him back up the runway to disappear into the wormhole. The wormhole was then disengaged, leaving no trace that the creature had ever been in the SGC (well, save for the massive damage it caused).

A small hush fell over the SGC as they stared at the man who saved them.

He turned to face the members of SG-1. He spoke in an overly cheerful voice, "Well, now that that's finished," and promptly collapsed.

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As Rose tried to scoot farther away from Claire Manson, she decided when she got back to Torchwood, there would have to be some changes in the information displayed in employee profiles.

In her file, Claire Manson was shown as having brown hair, brown eyes, a sunny disposition, a slight lack of respect for authority, and an exceptional skill with computers. Upon meeting Claire, Rose was slightly taken aback by her jet black hair with blue streaks (not in her profile), her many piercings (not in her profile), and her shirt loudly boasting, "JE$U$ Wants Your Money," (once again, not in her profile) but after five minutes sitting beside her in a plane before takeoff, Rose discovered that she was an intelligent girl who was friendly and easy to talk to. Once the plane took off, the story changed a bit. First Claire's face got just a tad green. Rose asked what was wrong, but Claire waved off her concerns, saying she felt fine. Ten minutes into the flight, her words began to slur a bit, and her responses came slower and slower. Her face went from slightly green to deadly green. Then it went from green to purple to ghost white. She stopped talking altogether and started to every so often make gagging sounds in the back of her throat.

Claire made another gagging noise with such intensity that Rose almost felt obligated to respond in kind. By this time she was already pressed completely against the window, yet she pressed harder against it, hoping to gain another inch away from this deathly ill girl. Why the Hell would they not put in her file "completely and hopelessly motion sick?" Rose looked at her watch trying to mentally make the hands move faster so they could get this plane ride over with.

At least she wasn't the only one in this situation. Many of the others on her team weren't fairing much better than her. She ended up choosing four members for her research team, not including herself. Also along for the ride were three security guards and the pilot. All of them were crammed into a plane that reminded Rose about an Eddie Izzard sketch about a Volkswagen with wings. The plane had only a few small rows with two very small seats on each side of the even smaller center aisle. Most of the back was loaded with the equipment they would need for the trip, so they were packed in rather tight. Rose was the only one sitting right beside Claire, but the woman sitting on the other side of the aisle wasn't doing much better than her. The woman's face had also turned a sickening shade of green, and she was practically sitting in her companions lap. Many others in the plane wore pail faces or dug through their carry-ons in search of headphones, earplugs, thick socks, or anything to block out the sound.

It was a very good thing that what the plane lacked in comfort it made up in travel time, for thirty minutes of torture was all they would suffer before they landed in Finland. Rose continued to count down the minutes. Only five more to go. An eternity later, the pilot spoke, "We are about to land. Please buckle your seatbelts and secure all loose luggage." Many of the passengers wanted to cheer at such an announcement, but they were afraid they noise would startle what little control Claire had. They would save their celebration for when they landed on solid ground.

The landing was as smooth as it could have been. The pilot was very talented, but it didn't hurt that this time he had some extra motivation. Once the plane did stop, Rose let out a sigh of relief and joined in the clapping that went around the ship. The nightmare was over, they could all relax.

Rose unbuckled her seatbelt and was about to ask Claire if she needed any help, but Claire turned to her first and said, "Sorry about this," and puked.

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So back in the infirmary, a flurry of activity could be seen. Hammond and all the soldiers had been banned for a while, because they were getting in the way of the doctors and nurses who had their hands full treating the various injuries from the latest attack. Luckily nothing was too serious this time, and most of the injured had been moved earlier while SG-1 was battling the metal and later during its entrapment by the Doctor.

Three nurses assisted Frasier in her attempt to patch up the Doctor. He was still conscious and was giving out suggestions for his treatment. Frasier normally disliked it when patients tried to take over their own care, but in this case, she appreciated the lack of guesswork that usually came in treating an alien species.

SG-1 and other SG personnel had been debriefed by Hammond, by the time they were allowed back into the infirmary. Now that they were all caught up to speed on what the Doctor had done for all of them, they were more inclined to treat him with a bit more courtesy as they approached him this time.

Hammond led with the first question, "So…"

"Fourteen hours, four minutes, thirty seconds."

"Excuse me."

"That's when you should come back for your interrogation. I won't be awake until then. Now that your staff has patched me up, I think it's time I get some shut eye. Don't you think?"

Hammond knew the man's request for rest was reasonable, he they needed answers, "This shouldn't take long. You can rest when we are done."

"It's not really a choice."

"But we don't even know who or what you are?"

"Course you do. I'm the Doctor." With that his eyes closed, and he fell asleep.

Hammond made a small gasp of irritation before gaining control of himself again. "Let me know the moment he wakes up." The staff nodded, and a few said, "Yes sir," before he walked back up to his office to fill out the extremely long paperwork that comes with alien incursions. Two in one day. He nearly groaned out loud thinking of the extra paperwork.

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End file.
